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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts give information about the diet and general health of two groups of students. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts give information about the diet and general health of two groups of students. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart displays information about the common diet of two groups of
students
Use synonyms
 consisting of five criteria of
food
Use synonyms
 and the table shows the percentage of illness in the past year, overweight and attendance at classes in
group
Use synonyms
 A and
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
food
Use synonyms
 with high-fat content and cereals were the most popular pieces of
food
Use synonyms
 in the
students
Use synonyms
' diets.
Additionally
Linking Words
, most of the
students
Use synonyms
 attended their classes and a small
group
Use synonyms
 of them experienced illness in the past. Half of the diet of
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 consisted of
food
Use synonyms
 with high-fat content,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 percentage was 35 for
group
Use synonyms
 A. The consumption of cereals was similar in both groups, at 35%. 22% of
group
Use synonyms
 A
students
Use synonyms
 consumed vegetables, which
this
Linking Words
 percentage was almost one-fourth for the second
group
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, only 8% of the first
group
Use synonyms
 and only 5% of the second
group
Use synonyms
 put fruit in their diet. The consumption of fish had the lowest proportion in both groups, similar to fruit and vegetables in
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, with 5%. In the case of general health, 90% and 75% of
group
Use synonyms
 A and
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 were involved, respectively. 20% of
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 suffered from being overweight, which in
group
Use synonyms
 A was half of
this
Linking Words
 number, with 10%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the proportion of illness in the past year was almost doubled in
group
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
, in comparison with
group
Use synonyms
 A.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, food, group, b with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dietary patterns
  • nutritional intake
  • carbohydrates
  • proteins
  • fast food consumption
  • health indicators
  • diet quality
  • beverages
  • sugary drinks
  • health outcomes
  • obesity
  • physical activity
  • fatigue
  • health maintenance
  • anomalies
  • trends
  • balance
  • comparison
  • correlation
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