Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #culture #tourism #revenue

Many individuals think that

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

money

from

tourism

will destroy

culture

while

others believe that

tourism

is the best way to protect

culture

Make

Wrong verb form

Making

show examples

money

from

tourism

is thought to destroy

culture

because lots of

tourist

Change to a plural noun

tourists

show examples

now

don’t

give any respect to it, but I widely agree with

whom

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

think that

culture

will be protected by

tourism

due to

its

popular

Replace the word

popularity

show examples

and fanicial.

To begin

people

believe that

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

money

from

tourism

will destroy

culture

because lots of

tourist

Change to a plural noun

tourists

show examples

now

don’t

give any respect to it. To explain, some

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

nowadays just

don’t

care about the

culture

some

Change preposition

apply

show examples

even ridicule the

culture

of the local

people

, the reason is they

don’t

understand the value of it. So that, it makes an enormous problem to the

culture

that it will disappear by the day.

However

, I agree that the best way to protect

culture

due

Add a missing verb

is due

show examples

to its

popular

Replace the word

popularity

show examples

and

financial

Replace the word

finances

show examples

. It is convincing to realize that

tourism

will motivate

people

to come in to try and learn more about the local

culture

Moreover

tourism

can furnish

money

in order to improve the facilities to

facilitating

Wrong verb form

facilitate

show examples

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

to develop

Wrong verb form

development

show examples

For example

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

can buy traditional things like clothes,

foods

Fix the agreement mistake

food

show examples

....

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

They can

also

donate

money

for

Change preposition

show examples

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

in order to make

culture

Correct article usage

the culture

show examples

more developed.

Futhermore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

tourist

Fix the agreement mistake

tourists

show examples

may give some good

coments

Correct your spelling

comments

for

Change preposition

about

show examples

tradition

Fix the agreement mistake

traditions

show examples

places

Correct article usage

the places

show examples

that they visited so that more

people

can know about it. In conclusion,

tourism

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

both positive

as well as

negative. But in my opinion, I lead to the statement that

tourism

is the only way of protecting

culture

because

tourism

can give more

money

to improve the

culture

and advertise it for more

people

can know.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Sep 25 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but others consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people desire to travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to the university. Does the advantages outwiegh to disadvantages?

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The most important thing of science is to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.