IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

some people think that govements should spend money for faster public transportation , others think that there are other important piorities . Dicuss both views and give your opinion

#people #govements #money #transportation #piorities #dicuss
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A group of people think governments should allocate money
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 faster means of transportation,
whereas
Linking Words
 some argue with the former statement. Detailed discussion and
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 about the topic are given below. First of all , the Economy of a country mostly depends on its
transport
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
. Many countries in the world step ahead
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their modern
transport
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 than others. Quicker transportation not only saves time but
also
Linking Words
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 products.
For example
Linking Words
 in our country
due to
Linking Words
 lack of appropriate updated
transport
Use synonyms
 systems goods get damaged which in
turns
Correct subject-verb agreement
turn
show examples
responsible
Add a missing verb
is responsible
show examples
 for the fall of
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
 of a country.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a faster
transport
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 saves time.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, Authorities
also
Linking Words
 focus on some other issues
such
Linking Words
 as
environment
Use synonyms
, cost and so on.
Use synonyms
Environment
Replace the word
Environmental
show examples
 pollution is one of the burning issues nowadays. If pollution
going on
Verb problem
continues
show examples
, in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
 future it will be impossible for
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 next generation to lead a healthy life. Many health-related problems
such
Linking Words
 as depression,respiratory infection,
skin
Correct word choice
and skin
show examples
 disease will occur. In my point of view, Governments should emphasise both faster means of public
transport
Use synonyms
 and other fields like the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 the need for a faster
transport
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 is necessary, the necessity of a safe
environment
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 undeniable.
Submitted by luongtrangnhung283 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: