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Writing Samples
Band 5

many young children leave school with a negative attitude towards learning why is this happening ? what can be done to encourage young people to have a positive attitude towards learning

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At present time, most students graduate
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
from school
show examples
Linking Words
whereas
Correct word choice
because
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 they possess dreadful aspects for
purpose
Correct article usage
the purpose
show examples
 of
learning
Add an article
the learning
a learning
show examples
 system. There are assorted reasons and that I will afford some solution for
this
Linking Words
 issue. Arguably, there could be reasons why pupils have awful
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
show examples
 to
school
Use synonyms
.
Initially
Linking Words
, owing to
out-date
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 by which I mean
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
 method, graduates do not
own
Verb problem
have
show examples
 apathy for studying and never pay attention to
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
. Correspondingly, many teachers, who are
newcomer
Fix the agreement mistake
newcomers
show examples
 in order to they have a bit of practical application of knowledge in real life
hence
Linking Words
 tutors cannot provide better skills to young people. To give an illustration of poor countries, which show bad
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
 that related to modern teachers at schools. Foremost among other tackled appears to be more advantageous of world condition.
This
Linking Words
 point is
first,
Linking Words
if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 carry contemporary technologies for
school
Use synonyms
 purposes, students may learn subjects of curriculum with caution because tenacity will
be arisen
Change to the active voice
arise
have arisen
show examples
 among pupils.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all schools ought to afford practical and handy skills that will ameliorate their career or job of
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
,
in addition
Linking Words
, schools should create motivational
as well as
Linking Words
 supportive
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
teach graduates to be collaborative or
respectively
Change the word
respective
show examples
 to each other.
For instance
Linking Words
, we acknowledge most developed countries created comfortable
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 for studying
therefore
Linking Words
 many students able to come up with fascinating
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
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world
Add an article
the world
show examples
. In a nutshell,
together with
Linking Words
 government and individuals can tackle the issues. My own feeling is that modern technologies and magnanimous teachers help to enrich
Correct article usage
the
show examples
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 of children at
school
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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