IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You have bougt some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email give detalis of the purchase describe the problem explain why you need a replacement urgently

#bougt #purchase #company #email #detalis #replacement
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with a purchase that I made in your online shop. I am a regular customer of
Amazon
Correct article usage
the Amazon
show examples
 online store and
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 time I ordered
shoes
on
Add a missing verb
was on
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 October 10th, 2024. On Monday I received a parcel with
shoes
 that I ordered a month ago. When I opened
this
 parcel with
shoes
, I tried them on. The
shoes
 were different sizes and
colors
Change the spelling
colours
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. I would like to try to wear them for a running competition at my university.
Moreover
, I understand
this
 purchase was my wrong decision. I immediately wrote a request to your company about my issue and I have not got an answer. I would like to receive compensation or new
shoes
. I hope you understand
this
 matter. I am a regular and happy customer of Amazon's online services. So I am looking for a resolution as soon as possible to keep your services. Yours faithfully, Artyom Gendlin
Submitted by genartem1986 on

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task achievement
You've included all necessary information, but add a bit more detail about why the replacement is urgent to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect sentences more smoothly for better coherence.
task achievement
Good clear opening that indicates the purpose of the letter.
coherence cohesion
You include a logical structure in your explanation of the problem and request.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing statements were well chosen.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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