The bar charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.

The bar charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar charts below show the main reasons for study among students of different age groups and the amount of support they received from employers.
This
Linking Words
chart depicts the criteria for study depending on the age
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and the amount of
support
Use synonyms
they get from their boss.
Overall
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, we can observe that the main criteria for study
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
to change depending on the student profile.
By
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contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
the employer
support
Use synonyms
does not change that much depending on the age. Looking at the information in more detail, we see that the most important reason for studying for people under 26 is for
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
career needs, in fact, 80% of the reasons why they learn is for their future jobs. And it is still like
this
Linking Words
until you start having 45 years where it is balanced, you do it for your career and
also
Linking Words
for interest. The employer
support
Use synonyms
varies a lot. Indeed, people under 26 receive the most help as they are the most inexperienced
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
they receive 75% of employer
support
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees aged between 26 and 29 years old, who are the second most helped
ones
Punctuation problem
ones,
show examples
get only 60% of help.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words support with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • age groups
  • career advancement
  • personal development
  • employer support
  • external aid
  • correlation
  • intrinsic motivation
  • career enhancement
  • societal impacts
  • workforce development
  • lifelong learning
  • primary reasons
  • motivation for study
  • part-time studies
  • career-oriented
  • personal interest
  • educational pursuit
  • study motivation
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