You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to the editor of the magazine. In your letter •correct the information in the article •explain why it is important for the magazine to give correct information •suggest what the magazine should do about this situation Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:

#article #travel #magazine #information #town #editor #•correct #•explain #•suggest #situation #addresses

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing

this

letter to you to mention that there are a couple of incorrections in your latest article that I read yesterday. The summary was about Brampton town, which is my hometown. The purpose of

this

letter is only to aware you of things that you already wrote down in the article. There is no doubt more than 50 % of the population living in Brampton is from India and travels quite frequently. But all do not belong to Punjab. There are more than 10 Communities that are basically from India but living in Brampton.

This

is crucial to publish correct data.

Firstly

this

will encourage every region to know, where their community is settling down.

This

will

also

help the new generation to explore more things in a developed country like Canada. You could republish the same article in the upcoming week so that the information regarding the regions settling down in other countries would be correct. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Sincerely, Harpreet Kaur.

Submitted by harpreet291kaur on Tue Sep 26 2023

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Task Response

Please ensure that the information provided is accurate and relevant to the given topic. Focus on correcting the inaccuracies in the article with clear and specific details.

Coherence and Cohesion

The greeting and closing could be more formal. Consider using 'Dear Editor' to address the recipient. Ensure that the closing is courteous and professional.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

174 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

sOME PEOPLE SAY hISTORY IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT SCHOOL SUBJECTS. oTHERS PEOPLE THINK THAT, IN TODAY'S WORLD, SUBJECTS LIKE SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN hISTORY, Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people say that the only way to guarantee to get a good job is to complete a course in university education. Other claims that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

Some people think that teenagers should do some unpaid work in the local community. Some people believe that it benefit both young people and society as a whole. To what extend do you agree or disagree?