The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#graphs #show #survey #children #activities #first #leisure #boys #second #girls #information #features #comparisons

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

This

Change the determiner

These

show examples

two graphs

illustate

Correct your spelling

illustrate

the the survey of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

male and female activities

such

cultural

Replace the word

culture

show examples

and leisure.

Survey

Add an article

The survey

A survey

show examples

has considered six activities among the children.

Overall

, most of the boys participate

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

computer games

while

most of the girls participate

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dancing. With regards to the first pie chart, the

most

Change the adjective

apply

show examples

highest

males

Correct quantifier usage

number of males

show examples

participate

for

Change preposition

show examples

computer games ,it is around 34%. Basketball

participants

Change noun form

participant's

participants'

show examples

male percentage is just over the quoter 26% and soccer and skateboarding are the next

Correct quantifier usage

most famouse

show examples

famouse

Correct your spelling

famous

activity

amoung

Correct your spelling

among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

17% and 11% , respectively. The lowest

attend

Wrong verb form

attended

show examples

activity is reading, it is

acounted

Correct your spelling

accounted

counted

Change preposition

for 2

show examples

Compare

Wrong verb form

Compared

show examples

to boys, girls

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

list of

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

. The

most

Capitalize word

Most

show examples

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

participate

Wrong verb form

participated

show examples

in dancing which was 27% and

female

Correct article usage

the female

show examples

reading

persentage

Correct your spelling

percentage

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

higher than

Correct article usage

the boys

show examples

boys

Change noun form

boys'

boy's

show examples

percentage it is 21%. Netball and the computer games proportions are quite equal, it has just

Correct article usage

a 1

show examples

% percentage

different

Replace the word

difference

show examples

Similerly

Correct your spelling

Similarly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gymnastics and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

listening to music

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

partipate

Correct your spelling

participate

persentage

Correct your spelling

percentage

Submitted by piuymi.madu on Tue Sep 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

158 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any
In the realm of sport, there is a perennial debate revolving around whether the state should ban extreme sports such as MMA or societies can freely do all sports they admire. There are those who think that the government should restrain it because of the dangerousity and lack of contribution. However, I am inclined to believe that people can do any sports they want because it is part of the freedom principle.
7.5
band
Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued by some that in the primary level, art subjects take the same importance as other subjects in schools. This essay agrees with the statement because it leads to creativity and encourages social behaviour.
7
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
These days,there has been a growing trend regarding individuals using non-conventional medicines and treatments rather than going to the doctor.I believe that it has some negative consequences such as causing other health problems as well as dependency.
5
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Urbanisation would impact the population density in the city since the rural people move to the city. The increase should be supported by the development of basic infrastructure including settlements, water, public transportation, and health facilities. As a result, urban citizens are provided with their basic needs. In reality, the development of urbanisation is faster than the development of basic infrastructure , especially the developing countries. Consequently, these circumstances have impacted the environment. For instance, Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, experiencing bad air quality and scarcity of drinking water due to massive urbanisation.
7
band
Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialise with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision.
Many children use The internet uncontrollably to communicate with their friends, which could cause harmful circumstances. Firstly, I will give an example from those issues to answer the first question regarding the internet's affairs. Secondly, to address the second one, I will explore how to solve those problems.

people think that the government should ban dangerous sports.Others say that the society should be allowed to freely participate in any

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialise with others. This can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for children. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision.