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Band 4.5

Opinion Some people think that family members are more important than friends, what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #members #friends
Few population consider that families are
quite
Rephrase
more
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essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
than friends.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
 essay will discuss the advantages of family
members
 are need to
be prioritise
Change the verb form
be prioritised
show examples
.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
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, most people
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 with friends rather than visiting family or helping them
according to
 their needs.
For instance
, the majority now that are spending
time
 with family
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are the ones that are more successful why? because they gain more skills when
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 give their
time
 with family.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
that
Add a comma
,that
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 their a lot of
population
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populations
show examples
 that are
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
active and make more
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
 to their
community
 and most of these people are family
members
. Another good example is that the
community
 is supported by every family and without family
members
 the
community
 in different
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 and
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 will not
be existed
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
.
In addition
 to that, family
members
 are one of the most important in our lives and we have to give free service to them because
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 is a
time
 that
you
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 may need their help.
Although
 family are critical in everyday
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
. In conclusion, family
members
 are most
significants
Correct your spelling
significant
show examples
 and we have to spend more
time
 with them so that we can be more
sccessful
Correct your spelling
successful
 and learn more skills from them. Not only that
however
, family
members
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 like a
community
 and without family
members
 there is no more
community
 form. In my opinion, family
members
 are the first prioritise
than
Change preposition
over
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
. If the family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 support every single family
members
Fix the agreement mistake
member
show examples
 to spend more
time
 with family first
then
 they can go to friends.
Submitted by riemwatokateti on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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