Some people believe that culture will be ruined if it is used to earn tourism revenue, but other consider that tourism is the only way of protecting culture.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many individuals have a view that using the tourism industry to make money can destroy tradition because of the difference in the culture but some
people
have other thoughts
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that it is the only solution to saving values or sharing them
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
others.
This
essay agrees with the second statement. First of all, most of the countries around the world are keeping their civilization limited to the exhibition centres and Museums.
However
,
while
travelling
people
see superficial art, crafts and other ornamental things.
For example
, Pakistan is famous for its traditional clothes worldwide but, at present,
due to
modernization many
people
over there are forgetting about their actual origin and representing a different picture of
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
culture in front of the world.
Although
it is better to earn money,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
they are neglecting their traditional importance.
On the other hand
, there are
believe
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the contract, a number of the community say that by travelling, the customs of different nations can be protected in terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moral values. For
in stance
Correct your spelling
instance
show examples
, Turkey is famous for its historical places and there is no drastic drastic change in the living style of their
people
.
This
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
reffects
Correct your spelling
affects
their cultural values in an ethical way.
However
, humans around the
globlal
Correct your spelling
globe
are usually impressed when they see no difference between the past and the present.
To conclude
, travelling can weaken a country's culture
however
it has many benefits to preserve the customs. In my opinion, tourism is quite good for tradition because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it represents the country's image and brings them into the world.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: