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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The provided line graph depicts the population of different types of Indian turtles between 1980 and 2012.

The provided line graph depicts the population of different types of Indian turtles between 1980 and 2012.
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The lower curve depicts the
population
Use synonyms
 of different types of Indian
turtles
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 between 1980 and 2012. It can be clearly seen that in 1980, the index of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 was
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same for all types of
turtles
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 in India, but by 2012, the Oliver Ridley
Turtlies
Correct your spelling
Turtles
 had the highest
population
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 compared with the Leatherback
Turtles
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 had the lowest
population
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.
For example
Linking Words
 between 1980 and 1997, the index of
population
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 for the Ridle
Turtles
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 rose gradually from 100 to nearly 135
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
then
Linking Words
 fluctuated slightly from 1997 to 2012.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
during
Change preposition
between
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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1980 and
1987
Add a comma
,1987
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 there was a minor fluctuation
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
population
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Leatherback
Turtles
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, and
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 index dropped
dramaticaly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 from 110 to around 60, between 1988 and 2009, and
then
Linking Words
 levelled off. Meanwhile, there were
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same figures in general for all species and the Green
Turtles
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. There were
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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slight fluctuations during
the
Remove the article
apply
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all period,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 there
wasn`t
Correct subject-verb agreement
weren`t
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 any
significantly
Change the word
significant
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 rises or falls in the
population
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, turtles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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