In most countries, young people form a large proportion of those who are unemployed. Why this is the case, and what can be done to solve the problem?

#countries #people #form #proportion #case

It is true that nowadays there are a lot of problems with unemployment.

Overall

, I would say that there might be some problems

also

solutions. It is considered that one of the main reasons is choosing

wrong

Change the article

the wrong

show examples

job.

In other

words

Add a comma

,words

show examples

ended

Wrong verb form

ending

show examples

profession

Correct article usage

a profession

show examples

university

or college might not

found

Add a missing verb

be found

show examples

this

city or sometimes in

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

For instance

, in Kazakhstan just over 40 per cent

humans

Change preposition

of humans

show examples

can not find their jobs,

moreover

, 30 per cent of

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

are young students who just

ended

Verb problem

finished

show examples

university

Consequently

, they begin to be poor and lose their gold time

cause

Correct your spelling

because

show examples

this

problem.

Solution

Correct article usage

The solution

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

problem should find

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

should employ young humans for minimum

Change preposition

of 3

show examples

years.

Furthermore

, in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

this

problem is possible to solve

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because nowadays a lot of universities

collaborates

Correct subject-verb agreement

collaborate

show examples

with huge companies. It is assumed that

second

Correct article usage

the second

show examples

trouble

Correct your spelling

problem

show examples

is not

enough

Add a missing verb

having enough

show examples

education for work.

This

means that young human beings found their jobs, but they were kicked

from

Change preposition

out of

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

jobs.

For example

, in

last

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

2022 year

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

of Nazarbayev found for their students good job, but

cause

Correct your spelling

because

show examples

of not enough education they became free from the companies.

Moreover

, it shows that in some universities they do not teach rightly.

Therefore

, there are a lot of

unemployment

Replace the word

unemployed

show examples

people. The best solution for

this

study

Fix the infinitive

to study

show examples

hard in universities, and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not skip the practice lessons.

However

, in my opinion

this

is less possible to solve, because, nowadays humans becoming more and more lazy. In conclusion, there were two main problems of unemployment.

Also

in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

only one can be solved.

Submitted by dimash171206 on Wed Sep 27 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

264 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In most countries, young people form a large proportion of those who are unemployed. Why this is the case, and what can be done to solve the problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an satisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinions

In today’s world, private companies rather than government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people think that buildings such as flats and houses should be designed to last a long time Others belive that it is more important to provide accommodation quickly and cheaply Discuss both views and give your opinion

You have recently moved into a new house. You want to tell your friend about the good news. Write to your friend. In the letter: describe the house, describe the neighbourhood, invite your friend to come and see the house.