In most countries, young people form a large proportion of those who are unemployed. Why this is the case, and what can be done to solve the problem?

#countries #people #form #proportion #case

It is true that nowadays there are a lot of problems with unemployment.

Overall

, I would say that there might be some problems

also

solutions. It is considered that one of the main reasons is choosing

wrong

Change the article

the wrong

show examples

job.

In other

words

Add a comma

,words

show examples

ended

Wrong verb form

ending

show examples

profession

Correct article usage

a profession

show examples

university

or college might not

found

Add a missing verb

be found

show examples

this

city or sometimes in

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

For instance

, in Kazakhstan just over 40 per cent

humans

Change preposition

of humans

show examples

can not find their jobs,

moreover

, 30 per cent of

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

are young students who just

ended

Verb problem

finished

show examples

university

Consequently

, they begin to be poor and lose their gold time

cause

Correct your spelling

because

show examples

this

problem.

Solution

Correct article usage

The solution

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

problem should find

university

Correct article usage

a university

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

should employ young humans for minimum

Change preposition

of 3

show examples

years.

Furthermore

, in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

this

problem is possible to solve

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because nowadays a lot of universities

collaborates

Correct subject-verb agreement

collaborate

show examples

with huge companies. It is assumed that

second

Correct article usage

the second

show examples

trouble

Correct your spelling

problem

show examples

is not

enough

Add a missing verb

having enough

show examples

education for work.

This

means that young human beings found their jobs, but they were kicked

from

Change preposition

out of

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

jobs.

For example

, in

last

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

2022 year

university

Capitalize word

University

show examples

of Nazarbayev found for their students good job, but

cause

Correct your spelling

because

show examples

of not enough education they became free from the companies.

Moreover

, it shows that in some universities they do not teach rightly.

Therefore

, there are a lot of

unemployment

Replace the word

unemployed

show examples

people. The best solution for

this

study

Fix the infinitive

to study

show examples

hard in universities, and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not skip the practice lessons.

However

, in my opinion

this

is less possible to solve, because, nowadays humans becoming more and more lazy. In conclusion, there were two main problems of unemployment.

Also

in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

only one can be solved.

Submitted by dimash171206 on Wed Sep 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are competing views on whether to make development in life.Although changes always involve risk , I still think that it is always good to make changes because , in the long run, people will gain more from the changes they make than they lose.
5.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday describe some possible disadvantages say whether you would like to go camping with your friend this summer Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...............,
Thanks for writing to me about your camping holiday and I would love provide my advice on it.
7.5
band
In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?
A skyrocketing establishment of supermarkets and shopping centres is proven to lead local markets to the verge of bankruptcy. This essay will discuss how the giant shopping retails overpower the local shops and why I disapprove of this phenomenon.
7
band
In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computer, the internet and smartphone, more and more people are to starting to work from home. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this development.
It is universally accepted that numerous people tended to travel to their workplaces in the past. However, the rise of technological advancements has changed significantly, so those workers are turning to working from home instead. This essay will examine the pros and cons of this change and outline supporting reasons throughout the paragraphs.
7.5
band
Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?
Global warming, caused primarily by human activities, has become a pressing issue with far-reaching consequences for the environment. This essay will explore the effects of global warming on the environment and argue that urgent action is required to mitigate its detrimental impacts.

In most countries, young people form a large proportion of those who are unemployed. Why this is the case, and what can be done to solve the problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computer, the internet and smartphone, more and more people are to starting to work from home. What are the advantage and disadvantages of this development.

Research shows that global warming is caused by human activity. What are the possible effects of climate change and what can governments and individuals do to reduce these?