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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives some of the most reported issues among people living in UK cities in 2008 (%). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #uk #cities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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THE GRAPH BELOW REPRESENTS INFORMATION ABOUT THE PROBLEMS OF
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
 LIVING IN UK CITIES IN 2008.
OVERALL
Linking Words
, THESE DILEMMAS CONSIST OF
HEALTH
Use synonyms
 SERVICES, EDUCATION AND TRAINING AND AIR POLLUTION. REGARDING THE GRAPH, IT IS EFFORTLESS TO SAY THAT THE PROBLEMS WITH
HEALTH
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 AND EDUCATION GAINED THEIR TREND.
TO BEGIN
Linking Words
 WITH
HEALTH
Use synonyms
 SERVICES, THE NUMBER OF
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
 CONSIDERING
THIS
Linking Words
 FIELD IS MAJOR. MORE SPECIFICALLY THERE WERE NEARLY 50% IN NEWCASTLE, MANCHESTER GLASGOW, AND LONDON.
ADDITIONALLY
Linking Words
 THE PERCENTAGES OF COMPLAINT
PEOPLE
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 IN BELFAST AND CARDIFF ARE THE MOST WHICH WERE 60%. TURNING TO EDUCATION IT IS SLIGHTLY FEWER ISSUES IN COMPARISON TO
HEALTH
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 SERVICES. TO BE MORE ACCURATE, THERE WERE LESS THAN 50% OF DILEMMAS IN NEWCASTLE AND
IN
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MANCHESTER.
THEREFORE
Linking Words
 THE NUMBER OF REPORTED ISSUES ABOVE 50% WERE FROM BELFAST BIRMINGHAM CARDIFF GLASGOW AND LONDON AS WELL. TURNING TO COMPLAINTS ABOUT AIR POLLUTION, THERE WERE ONLY A FEW PROBLEMS. COMPLAINTS FROM NEWCASTLE AND GLASGOW,
HOWEVER
Linking Words
, THERE WAS A LOT OF DISSATISFACTION FROM
PEOPLE
Use synonyms
 FROM MANCHESTER LONDON, AND CARDIFF.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, health with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • significant issue
  • high percentage
  • real estate market
  • traffic congestion
  • transportation issues
  • urban areas
  • health services
  • dissatisfaction
  • healthcare facilities
  • crime rates
  • safety
  • law enforcement
  • education and employment issues
  • job market
  • educational systems
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