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Band 5.5

Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making traditions aimed at tourists, others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these traditions.

#people #traditions #tourists
These days, there is a big debate between
people
 about cultural folklore. Some population believe that when we let visitors use it or earn cash from it, it can cause lots of damage to them. But
this
 time another side says that there is only one way to prevent our
culture
 from disappearance, it should be used by folk who live in another
provincial
Replace the word
province
show examples
. In
this
 essay, I will explain both sides and give some opinions on why it would be beneficial. On the one hand,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
like
Replace the word
likes
show examples
 their
culture
,
ritual
Fix the agreement mistake
rituals
show examples
, and whatever they have in
this
 life so sometimes they do not want to let us other rustic nations because on average
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
of thousands
people
 visit every country around the earth. So we do not their goals or why they are visiting one agrarian, for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example they may be agents to follow the
culture
's rules
then
 destroy it or at least visiting community have a tendency to teach things especially if it is another bucolic's traditional things.
Consequently
, the government will struggle to maintain its traditional values
while
 Repairing them.
Secondly
, now we are living changing nature so everyone wants to make a salary and display their
culture
 for all of nature and it is able to bring funds and keep cultural value long time. To better understand let me take an example, around the earth folk prefer travelling across cultures and seeing their lives, learning traditions, and so on if they were once here enjoy being here next time they would bring friends and even neighbourhood too, it means more money.
As a result
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 country has become more and more popular, and society has started living easier than before because of visitors. In conclusion, if
people
 had more interest in visiting the country, it would bring lots of opportunities like financial, and
people
 learn a second language thanks to them.
Submitted by Mr. Big on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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