IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #oil #world #resources #sources #power #wind
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Countries spend a great amount of their budgets finding oil as a fuel,
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 resource will be finished in the near future. A plethora of people argue that
this
Linking Words
 money should be spent on producing
power
Use synonyms
 from natural resources
such
Linking Words
 as wind and sun, and I concur with those individuals as these are clean and endless sources. Burning oil to produce heat and electricity makes a great number of side-products which are mostly harmful to both human beings and the environment,
such
Linking Words
 as CO2 emission that not only destroys the ozone layer of the atmosphere but
also
Linking Words
 causes many respiratory diseases.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, natural resources do not have any devastating effects as they are clean. A recent study in NHS-funded hospitals illustrated that in a small city in the north of England with wind generators as the only source of
power
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 ten years, the number of children suffering from asthma (a respiratory disease) has decreased by 40%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, natural resources have no limit, they can be used
as well as
Linking Words
 life exists;
however
Linking Words
, global warming and changes in weather conditions can affect the
power
Use synonyms
 production process. The infrastructure of
this
Linking Words
 contemporary discovery should be improved, so the whole population of the globe can benefit from that, particularly those countries with better climate conditions, located in the middle of the world; because they receive the best sun rays, like Middle Eastern nations. In conclusion, wind and solar are the best sources of
power
Use synonyms
 since they produce no waste
as well as
Linking Words
 they are timeless, so governments should take steps to improve the infrastructure by spending more money on
this
Linking Words
 part and using them as the main sources.
Submitted by g.bohlouli96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • finite
  • renewable energy sources
  • expenditure
  • compromise
  • sustainable
  • environmental impact
  • infrastructure
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency
  • fluctuating prices
  • stimulate
  • job creation
  • vested interests
  • transition
  • reluctance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: