IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the years. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer longer vacation. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Holidays
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, whether long or short, are liked by every person around the globe.
Although
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 some people believe that fewer
days
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 of vacation is better as it helps to rejuvenate one's mental and physical health, some are of the opinion that long
vacations
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 are more advantageous because they provide them with ample family time. In my opinion, short
holidays
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 are beneficial because
holidays
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 can make individuals lazy
as well as
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 feel boredom. It is commonly argued by many people that shorter
vacations
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 are more helpful as they think it enables them to regain their strength both physically and mentally.
Moreover
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, if the number of off
days
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 is less, people will effectively utilize these
days
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 to carry out essential tasks in their lives.
For instance
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, a survey conducted in the UK reveals that 60% of the population living in London take short
vacations
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 and
this
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 group exhibited good mental and physical abilities compared to others who do not choose long leaves.
Therefore
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, considering these aspects, it is undeniable that short breaks are fruitful in all ways.
On the contrary
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, the vast majority of individuals contend that longer
holidays
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 are better than shorter ones owing to the quality moments they can spend with their families.
Furthermore
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, these types of
vacations
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 are ideal for long trips, both local and international, which is the best way to strengthen the bond within the family.
For example
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, most families in the US go for road trips during summer and spring breaks which helps them to share joyful memories with their loved ones.
Thus
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, it is completely true that long
holidays
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 enforce relationships among family members.
To conclude
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, taking off from daily routine is an enjoyable activity for everyone irrespective of the number of
days
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.
While
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 short
holidays
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 enhance mental and physical well-being in a short span of time, long ones bind families together.
Nevertheless
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, in my view, despite long
vacations
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 having several advantages, fewer
holidays
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 are more useful because the former may create a sense of laziness and boredom.

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task achievement
While your essay presents a clear discussion with relevant examples, addressing both views, try to incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your points further. For example, mention specific activities people might engage in during short holidays or describe a particular long vacation family experience.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to avoid minor grammatical errors or awkward phrasings. For instance, 'fewer days of vacation is better' should be 'fewer days of vacation are better' and 'holidays can make individuals lazy as well as feel boredom' could be rephrased as 'holidays can make individuals feel lazy as well as bored.'
task achievement
The introduction effectively outlines the two views on the topic and clearly states your opinion, setting a solid foundation for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and clear. You systematically address both perspectives and provide a well-rounded conclusion, which enhances the coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reiterates your opinion, which provides a strong closure to the essay.
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