You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six year old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter •Explain why you would like the job •Give details of why you will be a suitable person to employ •Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #year #child #parents #•explain #job #•give #person #•say #time #australia

Dear Mr. Najafi I am writing

this

letter regarding a work opportunity that I saw in a magazine. In fact, I am very interested in looking after your child and living at your place for six months. I would like to provide you with some details of my experience. I have taught preschool kids for 10 years in a well-known kindergarten in Sydney.

In addition

, I have gotten my bachelor's degree in education from Melbourne University. So, I can take care of your six-year-old kid properly and

also

will teach them some necessary subjects which can be needed in their life. Well, I am going to write my book about the principles of communication between tutors and infants in nursery school, so I will go to the library in my leisure time. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or concerns.I can provide you with all my documents after your consideration. Thank you, Yours Sincerely, SARA ZARE

Submitted by zare.19866 on Wed Sep 27 2023

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Task Response

The letter demonstrates an adequate understanding of the task and presents a clear response. However, the closing and greeting could be improved for a more formal tone.

Coherence and Cohesion

The coherence and cohesion of the letter is generally effective, with a logical structure and clear organization. However, there are areas for improvement in terms of the greeting and closing, and the flow of ideas within paragraphs.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

161 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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