In many cities, the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks?
Our individual freedom has been restricted
due to
the increase in the use of video
cameras
in public locations in order to reduce crime. I am in support of using video
cameras
as a security facility to reduce crimes
; the benefits of these measures perfectly outweigh the drawbacks. I will discuss different aspects of using video
cameras
as tools for monitoring critical crimes
such
as murder and mugging.
Firstly
, murder is one of the most important crimes
around the world. Therefore
, citizens of some countries may be in danger. For instance
, people in Brazil suffer from a lack of safety due to
the enormous number of criminals; most of them have anxiety because they are always stressed about their lives
. A possible solution to this
problem would be using video
cameras
. Therefore
, the advantage of establishing video
cameras
by the governments in order to protect their people's lives
meaningfully outweighs the restriction of their freedom.
Secondly
, mugging is another crucial crime. A vital need of people is to feel protected while
they are transported to another place which can be under the threat of criminals. For example
, Although
school students, women and other citizens know the dangers, they do not have enough physical power to protect themselves and may be in danger of snatching or mugging. When it is about mugging, actually, their lives
are in danger. So, there should be some monitoring devices to prevent these crimes
.
To summarize, in my opinion, the benefits of establishing video
cameras
as reduction tools of crimes
, greatly outweigh the drawbacks which I have discussed. Murder and mugging are two of the most important crimes
which threaten human lives
; so, that would be great if they were restricted through control devices such
as video
cameras
.Submitted by miladmousavi757 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. Ensure to provide a balanced discussion of both benefits and drawbacks of increased security measures to fully address the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a clear logical structure, effective use of transitions, and a well-rounded introduction and conclusion. Work on consistently maintaining coherence in the body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is suitable and conveys the intended meaning effectively. Expand vocabulary range and use more precise and varied expressions for a higher score.
Grammatical Range
Grammatical Range: There is a good range of grammatical structures used with accuracy. Aim to incorporate more complex sentences to enhance grammatical range and display a wider repertoire of structures.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...