IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Percentage of household budget for necessities in China

The two pie charts give detailed information about
how
Rephrase
apply
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many
Correct your spelling
percentage
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of spending on significant goods in
Correct your spelling
Chinese
Chineese
Correct your spelling
China
 during the period from 1995 to 2011
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that, in all types of household
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
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 there was only minimal change over the
16
Add a hyphen
16-year
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year
Use synonyms
 period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 worth mentioning that, the
rate
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 of medicine experienced remarkable growth.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, source of clothing comprised
of
Change preposition
apply
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19% in the first
year
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 and
this
Linking Words
 showed only a very negligible decline of about a mere 1 % to 18% in 2011.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in 1995 household goods generated 9% which improved minimally to 12% 16
Use synonyms
year
Change to a plural noun
years
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 later. The
rate
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 of food was 68% and it plunged by 9% in the second
year
Use synonyms
. When it comes to
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rate
Add an article
the rate
a rate
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 of medicine, it was 4% in 1995.
Then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
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 climbed from 4% to 11%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the given period.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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