IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution #measures
Nowadays, we are living in a fast world where there are a huge number of people, who need to move. The ways to move more comfortably are the motor vehicle but these generate
problems
,
such
 as traffic jams and
pollution
. Some claim that increasing the price of petrol will curb
this
 situation. In
this
 essay, I will explain my point of view and I will search to replay the question.
On the other hand
, I think that a car is more important because it sets you free, but
this
 causes some
problems
.
Furthermore
, one thing to keep in mind is
pollution
,
such
 as air
pollution
.
This
 it is happens in almost all cities and it causes a variety of
problems
,
such
 as diseases and cancer.
According to
 some claims, the best solution is increasing the price of petrol but
this
 is impossible for a huge number of
problems
. Despite of, coal is a precious resource to nature, where the governments can earn a lot of money. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
 solution because there are
problems
 of a geopolitical nature, economic interest and many other things behind it.
To sum up
, increasing the petrol prices by the governments can reduce some transport and
pollution
problems
, but not enough from
this
, people
also
 need to take other measures to protect our earth's environment.
Submitted by afiorentino404346 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Content development
Avoid irrelevant or unclear points in your writing. For instance, your point about 'coal being a precious resource to nature' does not support your argument or link to the topic clearly.
Grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structures. For example, 'I will search to replay the question' should be 'I will attempt to answer the question' or 'I will seek to respond to the question'.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your sentences and paragraphs smoothly transition from one point to another, maintaining a logical flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider using more specific examples or data to support your points rather than making broad statements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: