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Band 6

In theor advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is positive or negative development?

#theor #businesses #products #development
These days most companies try to assure people with newly manufactured items by saying they provide totally different functions or an item has developed. In my opinion,
this
 phenomenon is used to raise the number of purchasers of a newly developed product. The following essay points out the benefits and drawbacks of businesses praising their brand. To start with, people who are constantly in the circle of business already know what can be done to expand their business.
Therefore
, one of the most spread phrases used in advertisements is that the product is the latest brand . Despite speaking highly of the item, the advertisement
also
 plays a vital role by attracting customers with the high quality of
advertisement
Correct article usage
the advertisement
show examples
.
According to
 the statistics, over 50% of purchasers spend money on nonessential stuff by the reason of eye-catching advertisements.
Hence
, these types of slyness help to enlarge the line of work.
On the other hand
, it can have an injurious effect on brand owners
such
 as getting lots of complaints about product functions. As an example, there was a skin cream called "ED" that was supposed
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the used for teenagers who were struggling with acne problems. Unfortunately, products became hopeless, and
instead
 of cleaning the face, they affect people and vice-versa by leading to skin irritation.
Thus
, companies can even get banned as the reason for telling false information.
To conclude
, many business areas try to introduce a new side of their goods because of competitive and human nature behaviour.
This
 development might bring
smash
Correct article usage
a smash
show examples
 hit in the human world.
Submitted by shams.aliyeva on

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Structure
The essay shows understanding of the task but it could benefit from clearer and more cohesive arguments. Try to structure your ideas by starting with an introduction to the issue, followed by supporting arguments and examples, and finishing with a conclusion summarizing your point.
Clarity
Make sure to avoid vague language and try to maintain clarity in your expression. Examples are a great tool to illustrate your point, but they must be presented in a clear and logical manner in order to effectively convey your argument.
Grammar
Grammar errors such as missing articles, incorrect verb forms, and wrong prepositions reduce the quality of the essay. Also, watch out for typographical errors ('there was a skin cream...' not 'there was a skin cream...supposed for the used for...'). Please revise and edit your essay thoroughly before submission.
Conclusion
The conclusion could be more specific and tie together the main points of your arguments more cohesively. Use the conclusion to restate your viewpoint and to summarize the key points made in the body of the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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