Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

#food #drink #products #level #sugar #health #people #idea

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Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of factories try to produce much

sugars

Fix the agreement mistake

sugar

show examples

in foods and drinks.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

Sugar

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

is harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

human

health

Use synonyms

. In

this

Linking Words

regard, I agree with

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

idea that

sugar

Use synonyms

prices must be increased by the seller. The first reason why I agree with

this

Linking Words

idea is that

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

health

Use synonyms

According to

Linking Words

the latest research on

sugar

Use synonyms

, high

consumption

Use synonyms

sugar

Use synonyms

has a direct effect on citizen

health

Use synonyms

. So the government must take proper action to keep people away from

sugar

Use synonyms

by increasing

sugar

Use synonyms

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

however

Linking Words

This

Linking Words

issue maintains an individual's

health

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, I advocate that high costs of

sugar

Use synonyms

enable

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

to develop their incomes, It will help to pay more attention

Change preposition

show examples

other fields

for instance

Linking Words

public

educations

Fix the agreement mistake

education

show examples

or most welfare. Not only the incomes of

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

will be increased , but

Linking Words

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

has

Wrong verb form

will also have

show examples

significant

Add an article

a significant

show examples

effect on public satisfaction.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, Nowadays majority of

budget

Add an article

the budget

show examples

is expanding on human remedies and

health

Use synonyms

care. The source of diseases can be

sugar

Use synonyms

for

Linking Words

example

Add the comma(s)

,example

show examples

blood

sugar

Use synonyms

. In order to decrease

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these types of expenses it would be better to impose higher

tax

Fix the agreement mistake

taxes

show examples

for

consumption

Use synonyms

control.

However

Linking Words

, governments are not dealing with hospital

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

problems. In summary,

although

Linking Words

some people think that

consumption

Use synonyms

sugar

Use synonyms

is enjoyable. I would argue,

not

Correct word choice

that not

show examples

only

sugar

Use synonyms

consumption

Use synonyms

is harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

human

health

Use synonyms

, but

also

Linking Words

it takes a significant budget

for

Change preposition

show examples

remedy. In order to decrease

sugar

Use synonyms

consumption

Use synonyms

, it is vital to increase

sugar

Use synonyms

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

as soon as possible.

This

Linking Words

is why I think high costs

for

Change preposition

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

acceptable.

Submitted by badrijalali on Thu Sep 28 2023

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coherence coherence

Try to structure your sentences more accurately to avoid confusion. For example, 'Majority of factories try to produce much sugars in foods and drinks.' could be 'A majority of factories produce food and drink products with high sugar content.'

language use

Work on eliminating grammar errors. For instance, 'high costs of sugar enable government to develop their incomes' should be 'high costs of sugar enable the government to increase its income'.

task achievement

While your essay demonstrates an understanding of the question and presents relevant ideas, you could include a greater variety of specific examples to support your arguments.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

259 words

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which cause many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Teenagers should have regular exams at secondary school as this will prepare them better for life after living school. Do you agree or this agree.

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. however, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

the main part of the population tries to tend to involve lessons which it takes place on the Internet rather than attending offline classes

The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coaching.