Some people think a simple lifestyle can preserve the environment, while others argue that technology itself can solve it . Discuss both views and give your opinions

#people #lifestyle #environment #technology

while

one part of the population considers life without technology to be better, the other part sees the advantage. I will discuss both views and give my opinion in upcoming paragraphs. Some communities think that

automation

has bad effects on human growth. Human are more dependent on technology which affects their health and human connections. In earlier times farmers used to cut their harvest and other products with the help of other people but now they can do everything with machines.

Moreover

, people do not spend quality hours with their loved ones.

For example

when the masses have spare time they love to play video games and watch their favourite TV Shows. On the other part of population thinks that

automation

makes human life easier. Now they can communicate with people who live far away from them.

Automation

helps the population to save moments

for example

by cleaning the roads within a few hours which labour takes a long time.

However

, with the help of ,technology we can do heavy lifting by machines which is not easy for human beings. In conclusion, I believe that with the help of ,machinery our life is easier and more productive. Human connection can be affected if they do not use

automation

in the right way.

Submitted by sp1807999 on Fri Sep 29 2023

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introduction conclusion present

Your introduction is quite brief, and while it signals what the essay will discuss, it would benefit from being expanded to include a clearer thesis statement that outlines your main points.

logical structure

Try to use more transitional phrases and connectors to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, "Firstly," "In addition," "On the other hand," etc. This helps guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

complete response

You have addressed both sides of the argument quite well, providing examples to support each view. This shows a good grasp of the task requirements.

clear comprehensive ideas

The examples provided, such as how farmers previously relied on manpower and now use machines, add relevance and specificity to your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

212 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think a simple lifestyle can preserve the environment, while others argue that technology itself can solve it . Discuss both views and give your opinions

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people judge success solely by money and material possessions. however, success can be achieved or measured in other ways. What are your opinion about this subject?

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming more popular. Some feels this is a positive trend ,while others don't. what's your opinion?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?