IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education.To what extent do you agree? Please try to write at least 250 words.

#government #budget #arts #money #education
In twenty first century
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
playing
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
 a vital role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens
Change to a genitive case
citizen's
citizens'
show examples
 life and even though, the skills
such
 as painting, music, sculpture, and literature
are playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 important
role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
show examples
 in
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 because they are stress relief
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 for individuals. Few folks think that the administration must allocate more funds to
education
 than
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the arts. I believe that
education
 is more important than arts, because having a degree
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 us financially stable, helps in the development of
society
, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hepls
Correct your spelling
helps
 us to achieve dream goals ,it build character and
also
 improves confidence.
Firstly
,
education
 plays a key role
to get
Change preposition
in getting
show examples
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
, because graduation provides a
finacialial
Correct your spelling
financialize
 security life by doing
jobs
 in the technical
feild
Correct your spelling
field
, when we
compared
Wrong verb form
compare
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
illetarate
Correct your spelling
illiterate
illustrate
jobs
 for illustration software
jobs
are paying
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
 more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical
jobs
.
Evenmore
Correct your spelling
Even more
 it
also
 helps to advancement in
society
 by using the latest techniques, and modern methods to do work.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 by using modern methods and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 in
agricultural
Correct article usage
the agricultural
show examples
feild
Correct your spelling
field
 we get more output with less investment
thus
helps to
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
as well as
 the public. Mainly, by schooling we will get the ability to achieve dream goals,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 makes our path smooth to reach our goals.
such
 as
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
,
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 and
also
 to evolve in the business.
although
 being
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
uneducated it will be a bit more
dificult
Correct your spelling
difficult
 to reach our dreams.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 Abdul
kalam
Capitalize word
Kalam
show examples
 got
sucessed
Correct your spelling
success
 in Indian space research despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his poverty and being
a
Change preposition
from a
show examples
backward family.
Furthermore
, it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 us to develop good character by understanding the values of
society
such
 as social equality among people and
also
 we improve knowledge ,
confidence
Correct word choice
and confidence
show examples
 by studying new things. In conclusion, I strongly believe that more funds
allocating
Wrong verb form
allocated
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 sector assist us to get financially free, progress in
society
, dream
acheiving
Correct your spelling
achieving
,and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 character.
Submitted by raviteja1818 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: