Some people think that a high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that a good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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High
salary
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

or good working atmosphere? What will you choose?
On
Change preposition
In

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my point of
view
Add a comma
view,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase On my point of view. Consider adding a comma.

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there should be a balance between
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct determiner usage
these

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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conditions. When your
salary
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is not enough to live
normal
Correct article usage
a normal

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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life obviously
great
Correct article usage
a great

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working atmosphere would not help you with that.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
Despite this

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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, a lot of money can't help you to get over everyday stress
on
Change preposition
in

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a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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workplace. But sometimes there is no option to choose and you have to deal with what you get. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

case
Add a comma
case,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In this case. Consider adding a comma.

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my choice is a high
salary
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I have enough
experiance
Correct your spelling
experience

If you don’t want experiance to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to deal with
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful

If you don’t want stressfull to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

situations. I have been learning different
phsyhological
Correct your spelling
psychological
physiological

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tips for a long period of time so I can work in different work conditions.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, living in Ukraine showed us which things are really important.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I believe that I have
a
Change the article
the

It appears that the noun power is not preceded by the correct article. Consider changing the article.

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power to leave work
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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workplace and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb do appears to be unnecessary here.

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not think about it at home.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, you can't get all
money
Correct article usage
the money

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the world, so maybe it is better to live your normal everyday life without stress in a good and pleasant atmosphere. As I mentioned before,
ukrainians
Change the capitalization
Ukrainians

If you don’t want ukrainians to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

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faced
Wrong verb form
face

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb faced. Consider changing it.

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a lot of stress in their everyday life. We spend a lot of time
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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our workplace, for sure it influences
on
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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our mental health. But as far as I
remeber
Correct your spelling
remember

If you don’t want remeber to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

financial independence is one of the basic needs of every person.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, try to find a place where you will be happy: the
salary
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will be high enough and your partners will be the best people on the Earth.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, you can create your dream team!

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introduction
To improve your score, consider adding a clear introductory paragraph that explicitly presents the two views being discussed before diving into your personal opinion. This structures your essay clearly from the beginning.
sentence structure
Incorporate more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance the flow and cohesion of your essay. This could involve using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences strategically.
examples
While you provided examples from your life and broader societal contexts, incorporating a wider range of specific, detailed examples to support your points could strengthen your argument further.
conclusion
Consider closing your essay with a more definitive conclusion that summarizes the discussed views and your stance in a succinct manner. It reinforces the essay's message and aids in cohesion.
task response
Your essay provides a balanced view on the importance of salary versus working atmosphere, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
examples
You effectively used personal and societal examples to illustrate your points, showing an ability to relate abstract concepts to real-world scenarios.
personal opinion
Your expression of personal experience and opinion adds a unique perspective to the essay, engaging the reader.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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