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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revelant

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revelant
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summerise #information #features #comparisons #revelant
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The charts below illustrate the percentage of
water
Use synonyms
 used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 gives information about the various uses of
water
Use synonyms
 in North
America
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, South
America
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,
Europe
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, Africa, Central
Asia
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, and South East
Asia
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. First of all, in Central
Asia
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, South East
Asia
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 and Africa more than four-fifths of its proportion is used for agricultural benefits,
in contrast
Linking Words
, only 32 per cent is used in
Europe
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. On domestic usage a large number of
water
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 is consumed in South
America
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 compared to all other countries, Central
Asia
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 and South East
Asia
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shares
Correct subject-verb agreement
share
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 the same proportional ratio of 7 per cent and less than
fifth
Correct article usage
a fifth
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 in
Europe
Use synonyms
. Eventually, in
Use synonyms
Europe
Add a comma
,Europe
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 more than half is accounted for industrial usage and 48 per cent in North
America
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, followed by 12 % in South East
Asia
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 ,
furthermore
Linking Words
, in Central
Asia
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 and South East
Asia
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 a small minority of less than one in ten
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
taken
water
Use synonyms
 for industry purpose.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, america, europe, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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