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Band 6

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

#salary #job #satisfaction
Nowadays, a high salary is more essential to flexible assignments. I totally agree with
this
 statement. In
this
 essay, I will provide my viewpoints
along with
 some relative examples. To commence with, there are numerous reasons why a high-paid career is more paramount than job satisfaction.
Firstly
, the majority of citizens prefer to do
this
 kind of operation which can fulfil their family requirements very easily.
For instance
, in many, jobs people just work for a big wage, not for a long stay on one operation.
Secondly
,
this
 type of office provides their children good education, better health options, future security and many more.
Thirdly
, people need to earn lots of money
due to
 in
this
 modern world require extra money to live longer.
Furthermore
, only good growth can give all types of facilities which most people nowadays require.
Moreover
, it shows their status in their society and easily grabs new opportunities very easily. Ostensibly, there are some individuals who ponder that only job satisfaction is key to living life. we can not buy everything with money
such
 as happiness, or spending quality time with our family members and friends.
Additionally
, human beings are not required to work extra hours because they choose their comfort zone rather than a big income.
For example
, their first priority is family, not a career. To give an overview, assignment satisfaction is key to our life but a good income is more important because we can buy easily some luxuries clothes, shoes, bikes and many more.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay to ensure that ideas are presented in a clear and organized manner. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop the introduction and conclusion more fully to provide a clear overview of the essay and to summarize the main points. Ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument and provides relevant examples.
Task Achievement
Address the prompt more directly, and ensure that the response fully engages with the topic. Support your ideas with more specific examples and ensure that all aspects of the prompt are covered in the response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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