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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

If a product is good can meet people's needs, people will buy it. Advertisement in the media is no more than form of entertainment. To what extent, do you agree or disagree with their opinion?

Nowadays,
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
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 is one of the main companies' instruments to show consumers that a product is good or useful.
However
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, some people consider that it is no more than just a usual entertainment which
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
 use to fill the TV time. In my opinion, advertising is very important and plays a crucial role in the modern market
and
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, and
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,
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apply
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 in
this
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 essay, I am going to prove it with several arguments.
To begin
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 with, it is necessary to understand that in today's
,
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apply
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world
there
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, there
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 are no other ways to show good to all citizens
not
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, not
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 only in the local regions, but
also
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 abroad
without
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, without
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 the use of social media
such
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 as TV or the Internet.
Moreover
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, because of the popularity of
this
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 method, users can see a huge number of different labels everywhere.
Therefore
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, to be noticed, manufacturers should make labels bright and, sometimes, interesting or funny videos and pictures
which
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, which
show examples
 may be accepted as a characteristic of entertainment.
In addition
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, I strongly believe that the marketing sector of each company has
a
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apply
show examples
certain knowledge about how to
make
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draw
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 people's attention
higher
Correct word choice
apply
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.
For example
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,
according to
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 statistics, every third man or woman in Russia decides to buy something after he or she sees it in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 media programme.
As a consequence
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, all of the top specialists in
this
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 field prefer to
utilize
Use the right word
utilise
show examples
this
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 method
instead
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 of others. In conclusion, I would like to say that the idea, why factories have decided to transform boring advertisements into bright and funny pictures
,
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apply
show examples
 is
because of
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 their profitability and success.

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structure
Make a clear plan in the first part and follow it in the body.
structure
Each paragraph should cover one idea and give an example.
language
Use short, easy sentences to reduce grammar errors.
evidence
Add more proof and real info to back up points.
language
Check spelling and mark to avoid mistakes.
stance
The writer shows a clear view and answer the question.
structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
cohesion
The ideas are tied with some linking words.
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