IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The bar chart illusturates the percetages of men and women employment in three different countries;Canada,South Korea and Sweden between the years 2005 and 2015.

#bar #illusturates #percetages #men #women #employment #three #countries #canada #korea #sweden #years
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The bar
chart
Use synonyms
illusturates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the
percetages
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percentage
percentages
 of
men
Change noun form
men's
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 and
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
employment
Use synonyms
 in three different countries;Canada,South Korea and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 between the years 2005 and 2015.In
general
Add a comma
,general
show examples
 we can see that the percentages of working people
icreased
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increased
 with the
prpotion
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proportion
promotion
 of women showing the most significant rise. It’s
cristal
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crystal
show examples
 clear that in the first
graph
Add a comma
,graph
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
male
employment
Use synonyms
 in
Canda
Correct your spelling
Canada
show examples
 was almost %60 and it was the lowest
employment
Use synonyms
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 in 2005
im
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in
males
Correct article usage
the males
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
Soth
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South
show examples
Korea
Add a comma
,Korea
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 were
aproximently
Correct your spelling
approximately
 between 70-80
percantages
Correct your spelling
per cent
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 males. The data shows us the
females
Change to a genitive case
female's
females'
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 always have a
fluctuatoion
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fluctuation
 in 2005.
Takin
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Taking
show examples
 a closer look at the second
chart
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 there were a
fluctiation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
 too,in both males and females. In
canada
Change the capitalization
Canada
show examples
 and
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sweden
Change the capitalization
Sweden
show examples
 females
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 almost %50 but in South koreamthere were almost 30
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, Canada and
Sweden
Use synonyms
almost
Add a missing verb
had almost
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 at maleshowever South
korea
Change the capitalization
Korea
show examples
 had the highest
employment
Use synonyms
 rates in 2015. Taking everything into
accont
Correct your spelling
account
 the major
diffarance
Correct your spelling
difference
differences
 between the 3 countries,each county
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 different percentages in 2005 and 2015.
Submitted by haticecoza on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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