As children become adults, their social behaviour changes in some ways. What are the main differences between young children's social behaviour and that of adults? To what extent are the changes that take place good?

When
kids
grow up and become a teenager their
attudie
Correct your spelling
attitude
and personality somehow change. There are a lot of differences between young and adult
child
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children
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
the way they speak, act and react
with
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to
show examples
people. On the one hand, when it comes to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
kids
they are natural in
communication
. They usually never hide their emotional expression and they communicate with their family all the time.
For instance
, my niece
she
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
is eight years old
she
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apply
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always
chat
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chats
show examples
with me about random adorable things.
Moreover
, she
like
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likes
show examples
to tell her parents about everything
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
show examples
in her day. She is smooth in
communication
and everything she
think
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thinks
show examples
about
Add a missing verb
is immeditely
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immeditely
Correct your spelling
immediately
she
say
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says
show examples
it.
On the other hand
, teenagers lack
in
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apply
show examples
communication
and they usually have mood swings. When
kids
grow up their hormones change which
effect
Verb problem
affects
show examples
their mood and behaviour in
communication
.
For example
, my nephew
are
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is
show examples
15 years old, he always
like
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likes
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to do stuff
at
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on
show examples
his own and he
don’t
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doesn’t
show examples
like to communicate much with his family.
Moreover
, he always
get
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gets
show examples
angry when someone
advice
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advises
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him or
try
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tries
show examples
to control him. His mood
change
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changes
show examples
every few hours. His family can’t figure out what he
think
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thinks
show examples
of because he always
try
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tries
show examples
to hide his emotions.
To conclude
, I really believe that teenagers are the
worest
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worst
period of life. Family should teach their
kids
manners at
early
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an early
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age to make them behave
greatly
Rephrase
well
show examples
in the future.
Submitted by mneeraaljalahma on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the given task by discussing the differences between young children's social behavior and that of adults. However, the content lacks depth and fails to provide a comprehensive comparison or exploration of the extent to which the changes are good. It is important to cover all aspects of the prompt and support the ideas with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a weak logical structure, with ideas presented in a disorganized manner. The lack of clear introduction and conclusion affects the overall coherence of the essay. To improve, focus on organizing the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences, supporting details, and a concluding summary.

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