In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What do you think are the causes of this development and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Nowadays, in several countries, the majority of the traditional ceremonies have not been paid attention to by individuals.
This
issue has two main reasons, so in the following, I will discuss ways that can help us avoid the disappearance of many important celebrations. As a first reason, unfortunately, a lot of
people
encounter financial problems.
Likewise
, the economies of several countries are weak, especially third-world countries.
Consequently
,
people
do not have enough time to spend hanging out with their friends, holding festivals, or even participating in them.
In addition
, the advancement of technology affects the number of
people
who attend celebrations.
For instance
, a significant number of
people
utilize their mobile phones most of the time.
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on

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structure
The essay ends abruptly. Ensure to conclude your essay properly.
content
You should complete your ideas. The ideas about financial problems and the impact of technology have not been entirely explored.
content
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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