The diagram below shows the stages in processing cocoa beans.

The diagram below shows the stages in processing cocoa beans.
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The diagram illustrates the stages in how three
cocoa
products
are created from the whole beans.
Overall
, the process includes three main stages
commences
Wrong verb form
commencing
show examples
with collecting raw ingredients and culminating in delivering
products
to the consumer and providing
cocoa
liquor
to the industry.
Firstly
, the ripe pods are harvested and
then
they are broken to remove their shells.Once the beans are collected, they are dried in order to eliminate the moisture inside and through pressing steps, the
cocoa
liquor
is formed.
After
this
point, the
cocoa
liquor
is processed in two ways. In the first method of processing, the former product goes through a
further
pressing period so that the
cocoa
cake is produced.
Cocoa
cake continues to be grind and two final
products
are generated.
Cocoa
powder, which is delivered to the consumer and
cocoa
liquor
, a primary ingredient to make cakes and drinks in the chocolate industry. In the second method, the initial
cocoa
liquor
is
further
refined and created industrial chocolate. At the same time, sugar is added, the finished chocolate
products
are formed after the final processing step and
this
is consumed by people afterwards.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cocoa, products, liquor with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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