The diagram below shows the stages in processing cocoa beans.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The diagram illustrates the stages in how three

cocoa

Use synonyms

products

Use synonyms

are created from the whole beans.

Overall

Linking Words

, the process includes three main stages

commences

Wrong verb form

commencing

show examples

with collecting raw ingredients and culminating in delivering

products

Use synonyms

to the consumer and providing

cocoa

Use synonyms

liquor

Use synonyms

to the industry.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the ripe pods are harvested and

then

Linking Words

they are broken to remove their shells.Once the beans are collected, they are dried in order to eliminate the moisture inside and through pressing steps, the

cocoa

Use synonyms

liquor

Use synonyms

is formed.

After

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

point, the

cocoa

Use synonyms

liquor

Use synonyms

is processed in two ways. In the first method of processing, the former product goes through a

further

Linking Words

pressing period so that the

cocoa

Use synonyms

cake is produced.

Cocoa

Use synonyms

cake continues to be grind and two final

products

Use synonyms

are generated.

Cocoa

Use synonyms

powder, which is delivered to the consumer and

cocoa

Use synonyms

liquor

Use synonyms

, a primary ingredient to make cakes and drinks in the chocolate industry. In the second method, the initial

cocoa

Use synonyms

liquor

Use synonyms

further

Linking Words

refined and created industrial chocolate. At the same time, sugar is added, the finished chocolate

products

Use synonyms

are formed after the final processing step and

this

Linking Words

is consumed by people afterwards.

ieltsamieduSun Oct 01 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".

▼

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words cocoa, products, liquor with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

188 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five cities in Australia
The bar graph illustrates the percentages of buying and drinking drinks abroad from five cities.
6.5
band
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, prefer to take risks and think that change is a positive thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In general, people tend to have different outlooks about how change can affect their lives. Some believe it is better to live a safe, somewhat repetitive life with minimal change, while others believe creating change in life is a good thing. While I acknowledge that change can cause a lot of stress to people, I would argue that creating change and taking risks in life is essential for our growth as humans.
5.5
band
some people believe that it is good to shere as much information as possible in scintific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many believe that free flow of data in the world would help us to have a global improvement in human quality of life. Although I agree with this notion, I assume that consideration of national profits and local development has an utmost importance in deciding which information could be leaked.
7
band
Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages.
Today, the development of economics has improved living standards, and brought products, new technology and better living conditions. While, during the process of this, the lack of social values also becomes a consideration. For this phenomenon, I believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
6.5
band
Although families have influence on a children’s development, factors outside the home play a bigger part in their lives nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There have been debates about whether external factors besides families are the most influential towards children's growth. This essay will argue that family's part in a child's development is more relevant than other factors.

The diagram below shows the stages in processing cocoa beans.

Coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five cities in Australia

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, prefer to take risks and think that change is a positive thing. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people believe that it is good to shere as much information as possible in scintific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, most countries improve the standard of living through economic development. But some social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of the phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages.

Although families have influence on a children’s development, factors outside the home play a bigger part in their lives nowadays. To what extent do you agree or disagree?