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Band 7.5

These days, people tend to change many jobs during their lifetime. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #change #jobs #lifetime #trend
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Nowadays, the community is prone to alter their occupation frequently. Even though there are lots of pros and cons, I believe that the disadvantages are fewer than the advantages. On the one hand, in past times, children were hardly allowed to choose their life path and career themselves individually.
Therefore
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, many talents were suppressed by grown-ups.
However
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, now some modern families do not intervene in children's decisions. But it does not mean that children always opt for the correct track in life.
Hence
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, in the
future
Add a comma
,future
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 they are inclined towards changing their employment often to find their niche. To illustrate, my cousin came to the conclusion of being an artist when she was 18, but after a,
while
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 she realized that
this
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 was not for her and resigned.
On the other hand
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, changing your workplace can have lots of side effects. Because it takes a long time to adapt to a new society every time.
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, it may influence one's performance negatively.
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, if a person does not stick with a single profession, there is a low probability of succeeding and standing out in that field.
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, each time he or she starts to work as a junior in a new area.
As a result
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, they become more likely to fail which, in turn, leads to abandonment of career. To give a clear example, when I was 18, my dad forced me to be an engineer, that's why after a year, I resigned and became a teacher. To summarize, recently, people have been trying to leave their current jobs and search for new ones.
Although
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 there are several positive impacts of changing jobs on one's life, there are significantly more adverse effects of ditching their work, and because of
this
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, these kinds of people tend to fail in their career path.
Submitted by rashad.ahadli on

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content
The logical flow of ideas could be improved. At times, the candidate's points seem to leap from one to another without a clear connection.
content
Specific examples should be given to support each point throughout, not only at the end of the paragraph.
language
Be careful with the use of certain words such as 'recently'. It's necessary to be careful about its placement in the context of the given argument.
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