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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way.

#businesses #emphasise #products
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In
this
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 contemporary world, businesses tend advanced
advertisements
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 to grow rather than others
;,
Change the punctuation
;
,
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however
Add a comma
,however
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 they have advantages
as well as
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 disadvantages
also
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. I think negative developments outweigh positive developments.
To begin
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 with, business competition can be affected
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further
Change preposition
by further
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 Improvements because they do more innovations to produce new and high-quality products
as well as
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 they persuade
advertisements
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 to deliver and grasp new
customers
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' minds to make more profits.
Consequently
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, the community is more prone to purchase companies' products as they wish, so one type of advertisement catches society's awareness easily.
For instance
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, one dairy company delivered a developed advert to show they used only fresh milk and it was handed over to regular
customers
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 without adding chemicals.
Finally
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, they experienced the largest profit in other years.
Furthermore
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, making
advertisements
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 leads the marketing effectively.
On the other hand
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, there are lots of disadvantages that can be seen with marketing
advertisements
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. When it plays more and more frequently, people are going to become tired and they hesitate to buy products.
Moreover
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, their attention will be lost and the company may not achieve their expectation.
Besides
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,
customers
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 wish to buy alternatives from another company.
Furthermore
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, businesses plummeted amount of
customers
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 and their annual profit
also
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.
For example
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, in the
new
Capitalize word
New
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 year period, one cake maker delivered an advertisement more than 10 times in an hour,
therefore
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 that product was not bought by people who had used it
last
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 year. 
Hence
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, the advertisement has more risk. Whenever they deliver
advertisements
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, Should have to give first priority to content and quality. In conclusion,
advertisements
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 have a good and bad effect on society
as well as
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 their makers,
however
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 producing
advertisements
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 with new technology will have more negative effects because their reality does not match with the advert.
Submitted by dusqut on

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