IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

1.Discuss Both Sides and Give Your Opinion: • Some people believe that the government should fund space exploration, while others think it’s a waste of resources. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion.

#people #government #fund #space #exploration #it’s #waste #resources #perspectives
It is an ongoing debate between two arguments, whether the
government
 should allocate a budget for
space
exploration
 or should allocate a fund for its
citizens
 as
space
exploration
 doesn’t resolve any issue faced by people. In my opinion,
government
 needs to focus on citizen’s requirements first before allocating funds for
space
exploration
. First and foremost,
space
exploration
 is essential to understand how humankind evolved on the planet
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
. Once scientists have
idea
Add an article
an idea
show examples
 how life form can survive on different planets
then
 humans can make colonies on various planets. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, NASA is currently working on making
space
 colonies on planet
mars
Capitalize word
Mars
show examples
.
Secondly
,
Space
exploration
 is helping humans to understand giant questions of physics. Some of the physics experiment needs total isolation from
earth’s
Correct article usage
the earth’s
show examples
 gravitational force. Experiments related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 general relativity by Einstein
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the prime example of
this
. On the flip view, the priority of any fund allocation should be their
citizens
. Because
government
 funds
mostly
Add a missing verb
are mostly
show examples
 generated by
tax paid
Add a hyphen
tax-paid
show examples
citizens
 and should deserve better infrastructure. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, free public transportation or low-interest rate housing are immensely valuable for any citizen. Following
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the developing nations are facing
grassroot
Correct your spelling
grassroots
 problems. The
government
 needs to focus on issues related to unemployment or the basic health care system. To demonstrate, India used to have
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 unemployment rate in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decade which was
resolve
Wrong verb form
resolved
show examples
 by immediate
government
 funding to
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
 sector.
To sum up
, before allocating any funds for
space
exploration
, it is the moral responsibility of any
government
 that they would resolve any challenge faced by their
citizens
 on
day to day
Correct your spelling
a day-to-day
show examples
 basis.
Submitted by pratik5575 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Content
Ensure a clear focus on supporting each argument with relevant examples. The examples provided are helpful, but could be more straightforwardly connected to the arguments.
Language
Improve your sentence structure and vocabulary usage to enhance the clarity of your writing. Minor grammatical errors are present, but do not significantly interfere with understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: