IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

People today are able to take out loans from the bank or get a credit card very easily. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice?

#people #loans #bank #credit #card #practice
There is an
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 bank loans and
credit
 cards among people. It has many advantages and disadvantages of using
such
 facilities depending on its
use
. In
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 world, financial stability and
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of luxury items have become a necessity. Banks have become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial aid to people who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to fulfil their needs. If someone wants to buy a house, they contact the bank for funds and they provide
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
 ranging from 5 years to 50 years. Education loans are
also
 available for those students who
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to grow their career but monetary difficulties are
hurdle
Add an article
a hurdle
show examples
 for them.
Credit
 cards
also
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those who want to
use
 an item
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they can't afford so the
credit
 facility allows them to buy it which could be paid later either
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 instalments or
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
 amount within
30
Correct article usage
a 30
show examples
 days timeline.
In addition
 to the advantages, there are
also
 several drawbacks to
build
Change the verb form
building
show examples
 liability using banks. It's
general
Add an article
a general
show examples
 perception that it is
harmless
Correct article usage
a harmless
show examples
 thing,
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
 is dangerous for those who
shopaholic
Fix the agreement mistake
shopaholics
show examples
. They can't resist a new product
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 might
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
show examples
ending-up
Correct your spelling
ending up
show examples
 with huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
debts
Fix the agreement mistake
debt
show examples
.
Furthermore
, there is an annual fee for
credit
 cards as well which have to be paid regardless of whether you
use
 it or not. Loans are
also
 beneficial but only for those who have the ability to pay it. There is
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
 amount of interest on
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
as well as
 tax imposed by the government. If there is not any stable income
then
 it will be a problem for those people. In conclusion, everything has its own pros and cons, resulting in the significance on either side depending upon the usage. Managing finance is a tricky thing to handle, if handled carefully
then
 you can achieve much more than you expect.
Submitted by waqasali345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!