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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts compare ways of accessing the news in Canada and Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts compare ways of accessing the news in Canada and Australia. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#news #canada #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two pie charts illustrate the percentage of several
path
Change to a plural noun
paths
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 of how Canadian and Australian people
accessing
Wrong verb form
access
show examples
 the
news
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentages of not specified media, radio, and print respectively were the lowest accessing media in both countries,
while
Linking Words
 Online and TV are most favourite accessing media.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, accessing the
news
Use synonyms
 on TV was the most popular one in
Canada
Use synonyms
 at 40%. Meanwhile, the other paths that were not specified just had 3
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of all accessing ways. Which is followed by online
access
Use synonyms
 had 36%. The same thing happened in
Australia
Use synonyms
 where the lowest path of accessing the
news
Use synonyms
 is not specified, which was 2%, 1
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 lower than in
Canada
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
access
Use synonyms
 to the
news
Use synonyms
 on TV in
Australia
Use synonyms
 was lower by 3% than in
Canada
Use synonyms
 which had 37%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of Online
access
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 was more dominant than the other aspects, including
Canada
Use synonyms
. It had 52% of accessing
news
Use synonyms
 that had half of the data in
Australia
Use synonyms
, and 16% higher than online
access
Use synonyms
 in
Canada
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words news, canada, access, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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