Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

Giving good discipline and position skills is better than putting offenders in lock up. I totally agree with that, discipline and assignment training are much better far to deal with
this
type of situation. In
this
essay, I will explain my point of view
along with
some relative examples. To commence with, giving information and job training to criminals are best way to overcome the number of atrocity rates.
Firstly
, the majority of individuals commit crimes
due to
lack of knowledge
therefore
they commit
this
type of crime if we provide better improvement for them
then
they become good citizens and not commit
this
group of crimes.
Secondly
, when they are in lock-up at that time the government need to provide some skill training
such
as time management, skill oriental, different languages and many more.
Thirdly
, during their bad time in prison, the administration should provide some materials
such
as different books, magazines and many more so they easily learn new things.
Furthermore
, the authorities need to arrange some seminars in jail on how to grow skills and how to learn new methods of increasing money for a better future.
Moreover
, offenders should take participates in various competitions like quiz, puzzle and many more.
On the other hand
, providing scholarships and position training is not a good way to overcome the case rate. If criminals provide information
then
they are doing various kinds of new crimes which is not good for human beings.
Additionally
, they used different kinds of ways to chat with other citizens.
For example
, nowadays, many people like to fraud in various ways like online transactions, cybercrime and many more. To give an overview, providing training and trade training is the best deal to reduce scandal rates.
However
, the government should provide
this
type of facility only to those people who really want literacy and post-placement.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks proper organization of ideas, and the arguments are not logically presented.
task achievement
The essay does not adequately address the task prompt as it lacks clear and comprehensive ideas and relevant specific examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Reintegration
  • Vocational training
  • Incarceration
  • Deterrent
  • Correctional facilities
  • Reformative justice
  • Social reentry
  • Ex-offender
  • Criminal justice system
  • Restorative practices
  • Penal system
  • Social marginalization
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