Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Many people believe that

music

could bridge the gap between different

cultures

and ages. From my perspective, I definitely agree with

this

belief for some reasons, which I will dive deeply into

this

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in this

show examples

essay. When it comes to

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

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music

definitely brings all generations together.

In particular

this

helps people overcome age barriers and connects those who share the same spirits. In fact, some of the young still listen to the 80s ballad songs that are the

favorites

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favourites

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of their parents owing to their lyrics and

rythms

Correct your spelling

rhythms

rhythm

. As a family

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

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the

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shared hobby among generations, it is a topic that they could discuss

over

Rephrase

apply

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, thereby, closing the knit

within

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among

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family members. People in distinguishable

cultures

can have the same harmony in terms of

music

. To be more elaborate,

music

fans indeed respect the messages and efforts behind songs no matter what their origins are,

hence

, they have grown interested in original

cultures

. Take Vietnamese and Korean as

example

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examples

show examples

, most Vietnamese teenagers not only have become fans of

kpop

Correct your spelling

K-pop

songs because of the emerging blockbusters in Korea but

also

nurtured the love for Korean culture and vice versa. In doing

this

, every nation could develop

the

Correct article usage

show examples

relationship with their partners around the world as well. In conclusion, I strongly believe that

music

is an invisible thread that connects everyone no matter their ages and

cultures

Submitted by linhng28122001 on Mon Oct 02 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

225 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

It is high time men ceased to regard women as second class citizen. To what extant do you agree with this statement?

Many countries offer a free health care system to their citizens rather than relying on private health care. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of having a free system, and give your opinion.

Intelligence is the most important quality to be a leader. Do you agree or disagree?

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

People will buy a product if it has quality or fulfil their needs. There is no need for advertisement. To what extent do you agree or disagree?