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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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Many people believe that
music
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 could bridge the gap between different
cultures
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 and ages. From my perspective, I definitely agree with
this
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 belief for some reasons, which I will dive deeply into
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this
Change preposition
in this
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 essay. When it comes to
ages
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age
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,
music
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 definitely brings all generations together.
In particular
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,
this
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 helps people overcome age barriers and connects those who share the same spirits. In fact, some of the young still listen to the 80s ballad songs that are the
favorites
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favourites
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 of their parents owing to their lyrics and
rythms
Correct your spelling
rhythms
rhythm
. As a family
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 shared hobby among generations, it is a topic that they could discuss
over
Rephrase
apply
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, thereby, closing the knit
within
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among
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 family members. People in distinguishable
cultures
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 can have the same harmony in terms of
music
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. To be more elaborate,
music
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 fans indeed respect the messages and efforts behind songs no matter what their origins are,
hence
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, they have grown interested in original
cultures
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. Take Vietnamese and Korean as
example
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examples
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, most Vietnamese teenagers not only have become fans of
kpop
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K-pop
 songs because of the emerging blockbusters in Korea but
also
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 nurtured the love for Korean culture and vice versa. In doing
this
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, every nation could develop
the
Correct article usage
a
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 relationship with their partners around the world as well. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
music
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 is an invisible thread that connects everyone no matter their ages and
cultures
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.
Submitted by linhng28122001 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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