Essay Topic: Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer, and include relevant examples.

#topic #internet #books #air #tickets #groceries

Nowadays, shopping online become

very

Correct article usage

a very

show examples

common aspect around the world. In my perspective, it is an important tool and I will discuss in

this

essay how it is important by providing strong arguments, which confirm my opinion. On the one hand, the main advantage is that it saves

our

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

time.

For instance

, my mother used to go to the supermarket every week to get groceries.

However

, now my mom order from the mobile application everything she

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

in just one click. Another example, shopping online

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

our life easier.

For instance

, buying air tickets. My father used to go for a

compilcated

Correct your spelling

complicated

way to get the tickets.

However

, now he just

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

the ticket

while

he is at home

while

using

tablet

Add an article

a tablet

the tablet

show examples

. On the flip side, shopping online is more expensive than

phyiscal

Correct your spelling

physical

shopping.

This

is because of the delivery charge.

For example

, my sister usually

buy

Correct subject-verb agreement

buys

show examples

books from amazon.com usually they charge her for the

shippment

Correct your spelling

shipment

a lot.

Furthermore

, shopping online

affecting

Wrong verb form

affects

show examples

people being

lazy

Replace the word

laziness

show examples

and

increasing

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

obesity.

For example

, my sister

Change the verb form

does

show examples

her shopping all the time online for her clothes, electronics, books, supplements and food.

This

is make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

her not

moving

Wrong verb form

move

show examples

much and

staying

Wrong verb form

stay

show examples

at home getting things done in just one click. In conclusion,

although

there are side effects for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people buying things online. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

the advantages of online shopping do outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by mneeraaljalahma on Mon Oct 02 2023

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Introduction and Conclusion

The introduction and conclusion are weak and need improvement.

Task Achievement

Provide more supporting ideas and examples to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and clarity.

Lexical Resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Review and correct grammar errors.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

231 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: <4

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
product selection
geographic limitations
price comparisons
physical inspection
customer satisfaction
delivery delay
online fraud
scams
trusted websites
notable disadvantages
increasingly popular
beneficial method

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Essay Topic: Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer, and include relevant examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some employees want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People think that goverments should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve envinronmental problems. Give your opinion

obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

Do you think consumers should avoid over packaged products or it is the responsibility of the producer to avoid extra packaging? Give your views or any relevant example with your own experience.