Essay Topic: Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer, and include relevant examples.

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Nowadays, shopping online become
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
common aspect around the world. In my perspective, it is an important tool and I will discuss in
this
Linking Words
essay how it is important by providing strong arguments, which confirm my opinion. On the one hand, the main advantage is that it saves
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
time.
For instance
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, my mother used to go to the supermarket every week to get groceries.
However
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, now my mom order from the mobile application everything she
need
Change the verb form
needs
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in just one click. Another example, shopping online
make
Change the verb form
makes
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our life easier.
For instance
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, buying air tickets. My father used to go for a
compilcated
Correct your spelling
complicated
way to get the tickets.
However
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, now he just
get
Change the verb form
gets
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the ticket
while
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he is at home
while
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using
tablet
Add an article
a tablet
the tablet
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. On the flip side, shopping online is more expensive than
phyiscal
Correct your spelling
physical
shopping.
This
Linking Words
is because of the delivery charge.
For example
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, my sister usually
buy
Correct subject-verb agreement
buys
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books from amazon.com usually they charge her for the
shippment
Correct your spelling
shipment
a lot.
Furthermore
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, shopping online
affecting
Wrong verb form
affects
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people being
lazy
Replace the word
laziness
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and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
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obesity.
For example
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, my sister
do
Change the verb form
does
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her shopping all the time online for her clothes, electronics, books, supplements and food.
This
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is make
Change the verb form
makes
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her not
moving
Wrong verb form
move
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much and
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
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at home getting things done in just one click. In conclusion,
although
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there are side effects for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people buying things online. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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the advantages of online shopping do outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by mneeraaljalahma on

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Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are weak and need improvement.
Task Achievement
Provide more supporting ideas and examples to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and clarity.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Review and correct grammar errors.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • product selection
  • geographic limitations
  • price comparisons
  • physical inspection
  • customer satisfaction
  • delivery delay
  • online fraud
  • scams
  • trusted websites
  • notable disadvantages
  • increasingly popular
  • beneficial method
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