Essay Topic: Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer, and include relevant examples.
common aspect around the world. In my perspective, it is an important tool and I will discuss in
this
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essay how it is important by providing strong arguments, which confirm my opinion.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, the main advantage is that it saves
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
time.
For instance
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, my mother used to go to the supermarket every week to get groceries.
However
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, now my mom order from the mobile application everything she
need
Change the verb form
needs
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in just one click.
Body paragraph 2
Another example, shopping online
make
Change the verb form
makes
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our life easier.
For instance
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, buying air tickets. My father used to go for a
compilcated
Correct your spelling
complicated
way to get the tickets.
However
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, now he just
get
Change the verb form
gets
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the ticket
while
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he is at home
while
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using
tablet
Add an article
a tablet
the tablet
show examples
.
Body paragraph 3
On the flip side, shopping online is more expensive than
phyiscal
Correct your spelling
physical
shopping.
This
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is because of the delivery charge.
For example
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, my sister usually
buy
Correct subject-verb agreement
buys
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books from amazon.com usually they charge her for the
shippment
Correct your spelling
shipment
a lot.
Body paragraph 4
Furthermore
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, shopping online
affecting
Wrong verb form
affects
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people being
lazy
Replace the word
laziness
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and
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
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obesity.
For example
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, my sister
do
Change the verb form
does
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her shopping all the time online for her clothes, electronics, books, supplements and food.
This
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is make
Change the verb form
makes
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her not
moving
Wrong verb form
move
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much and
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
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at home getting things done in just one click.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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there are side effects for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people buying things online. In my
opinion
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,opinion
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the advantages of online shopping do outweigh the disadvantages.
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Introduction and Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are weak and need improvement.
Task Achievement
Provide more supporting ideas and examples to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and clarity.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Review and correct grammar errors.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
In this contemporary epoch, with the widespread of education and technology, it has become apparent that the number of learners choosing to pursue scientific subjects has declined in recent years. Some causes and possible ramifications of this phenomenon will be discussed.
Nowadays, there is a debate about how young people should allocate their time between cultural activities such as music and theatre, and sports. While some argue in favour of prioritizing cultural pursuits, others advocate for spending more time on sports. In my opinion, both cultural and sports activities offer valuable benefits for young people, and they should be encouraged to engage in both.
It has been universally accepted that the problem of plastic pollution is escalating at an alarming rate. This issue is bringing a state of depression among the masses and negatively affecting the economy as well. There are a plethora of reasons for this problem, and possible solutions can be suggested, which are discussed as follows.