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Band 4.5

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate, and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

#phone #years #business #phones
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These days, the
coomunity
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community
 utilizes
the
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apply
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cell phones
in
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at
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 an increasing rate which influences their lifestyles. Even though
,
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apply
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 there are a few positive effects of
this
 case, there are
also
 some adverse impacts. I personally think that the side effects are significantly less than the benefits. On the one hand, prior to the advancements in technology,
public
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the public
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 did not have access to
the
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apply
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online dictionaries which, in turn, led to
the
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apply
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difficulties in learning new languages.
However
, now it is possible to look up the words they do not know effortlessly.
Furthermore
, in past when boys went to
military
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the military
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 or children lived far from their parents, it was tough to communicate
due to
lack
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the lack
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 of internet. To give an example
to
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of
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this
, when my father was in
military
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the military
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 in another country for 2 years, he was isolated from his family all the time.
On the other hand
, in spite of many good benefits, it has some negative effects
in
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on
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 society. People at
young
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a young
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 age get addicted to mobile games.
Therefore
,
afterwards
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,afterwards
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 they tend to neglect their education and home assignments which evokes illiteracy.
Moreover
, the radiant of screens children are exposed
throughout
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to throughout
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 the day can trigger some sickness and poor eyesight.
For instance
, my nephew started to use
phone
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the phone
a phone
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 at the age of 3. Now he is 12 and wears glasses because of weak eyes. To summarize, the growth in mobile phone usage has pros and cons.
Nevertheless
, I believe that the advantages are
considerable
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considerably
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 more than the drawbacks.
Submitted by rashad.ahadli on

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lexical resource
Avoid using informal language and contractions. Use more formal and academic language.
task achievement
Add more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas are logically connected throughout the essay. Consider using linking words and phrases to improve coherence.
grammatical range accuracy
Review and correct grammatical errors. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tenses.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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