The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
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The bar chart above depicts the number of enjoying relaxation moments by two sexes of 5 different employment statuses,
such
Linking Words
as employed, part-time working, unemployed, retired, and housewives. At first glance, the level of unemployed and retired men is the same, and have more points for leisure
while
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employed individuals have much fewer.
In addition
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, women in retiring or unemployed positions have a bit less term than other genders
while
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those who are employed or working a part-time job have almost the same levels.
To begin
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with, males without a job or who finished a career have the highest level of chilling time, at 80%. Meanwhile, the working man has much less free duration having only 50%.
Also
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, it is noticeable that men do not work at part-time jobs and can not be housewives.
On the other hand
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, women have less in every statistic,
for instance
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, females who are retired or unemployed have 75% respectively. With full-time or part-time there is a small difference in favour of part-time, peaking at 40%
while
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housewives have 60% of enjoying leisure occasions only.
Submitted by filwayy on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • employment status
  • full-time
  • part-time
  • unemployed
  • retired
  • disparity
  • illustrates
  • depicts
  • comparison
  • significant
  • notable
  • approximately
  • contrast
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • analyze
  • evaluate
  • data
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