In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

#places #leisure #time #activity #adults #development

These days, many young adults spend so much time

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apply

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shopping and look at it as a hobby. There are many reasons why

this

is the case. Personally, I believe that

this

is a negative development and I will explain my reasons in the following paragraphs. In my viewpoint, one of the main reasons for

this

phenomenon is the variety of online advertisements which convince young adults to buy from them, which is a negative development. On the one hand, by purchasing a lot,

people

are wasting their money without noticing. Nowadays, it can be seen many online shops and because it is more convenient for

people

they spend so much more money on online shopping than before and somehow it is a leisure activity for them. To some extent,

people

are becoming poorer and making big companies richer.

On the other hand

, some

people

waste their money on things they don't need and

this

causes more damage to the environment.

For instance

, they see their friends bought something and they buy that stuff just to show them they are capable of purchasing everything they want.

Consequently

this

leads to

waste

Correct article usage

the waste

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so many non-recyclable materials which harms the environment.

Last

but not least, some

people

believe that by shopping excessively, they can increase their life quality and show others their life level is high.

To conclude

, the rise of shopping should be viewed as a negative development and must be controlled by the government in order to keep the environment a safer place.

Submitted by parvane_ava on Mon Oct 02 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many places, shopping is the leisure time activity for young adults. Why is it so? Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It will be better for both society and individuals is driverless cars - cars can drive themselves- become more widely used. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is more important for a building to serve purpose than look beautiful , architectures should not worry about producing building as a work of art. Do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that overeating is harmful and advertising for some food products should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, there is shortage of housing due to growing population. Some people argue that new towns should be built in the country side, others argue for the regeneration of cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of building new towns in the country?