Parents should encourage their children to spend less time on studying and more time on physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, various
pedagories
are proposed to parents in order to find the best way to grow their Correct your spelling
pedagogies
children
. Some specialists recommended that children
should be encouraged to spend more time
participating in physical activities instead
of studying. From my point of view, I do not totally agree with this
opinion for some reasons.
Firstly
, there is no doubt that the more time
children
spend for
studying, the higher results they can achieve. It can clearly be seen that if a child Change preposition
apply
focus
on studying, they can have more Change the verb form
focuses
time
to research further
in their favorite
subjects. Change the spelling
favourite
Moreover
, they can have more time
to practise. So, those children
will have undeniable advantages in their future
career
. Fix the agreement mistake
careers
For example
, many Asian students
, especially Japanese, Chinese
Correct word choice
and Chinese
students
are encouraged to focus on studying in
the whole of their childhood. It is undeniable that those countries have the highest rate of Change preposition
for
students
who can achieve scholarships from the top rank
universities in America and Europe.
The second reason which supports my opinion is that focusing on studying in the Add a hyphen
top-rank
students
’ childhood might help build a good habit of self-studying in the future
for them. Children
who are encouraged to spend more time
on
studying might feel that studying is their daily routine. They could get used to planning for their study Change preposition
apply
everyday
. Replace the word
every day
This
might help build a good habit of time
management, self-planning and self-studying in the future
. For instance
, in Vietnam, many university students
say that they find no difficulites
in self-studying when they enter the university because they have Correct your spelling
difficulties
difficulty
had
an effort to study since they were in primary school.
Verb problem
made
However
, there are still some counter arguments
which Add a hyphen
counter-arguments
against
my point of view. It is necessary to spend Add a missing verb
are against
time
participating in physical activities in order to have a
good health. Remove the article
apply
A good
health is Remove the article
Good
also
an important feature contributes
to Correct pronoun usage
that contributes
the
bright Correct article usage
a
future
.
In conclusion, it is not reasonable to spend more time
on physical activities instead
of trying the best to study, in my opinion. However
, students
should have a plan to play sport
at least once a week in order to have Fix the agreement mistake
sports
a
good health.Remove the article
apply
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coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction by giving a more specific and clear thesis statement.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Consider presenting a balanced view by acknowledging and addressing the counter arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Improve the conclusion by summarizing the main arguments and providing a final thought.
Fully explain your ideas
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- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
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- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
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