The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009

The bar chart below shows the number of houses built per year in two cities, Derby and Nottingham, Between 2000 and 2009
The graphic charts above
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
proportion
Correct article usage
the proportion
show examples
number
of new houses in almost a decade from 2000 to 2009 in Derby and Nottingham. It's clear that in 2009, both two cities reached its peak of their highest
number
.
Moreover
, every
cities
Change to a singular noun
city
show examples
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
different trends
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
year
.
Firstly
we will talk about Derby. The
number
in
this
city shows
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
increase as per
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
year
. It
starting
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
from below 50
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
in 2000 and in 2003 it escalated the growth
number
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
above 100 and kept stable until 2007.
Therefore
, it
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
significantly
Change the word
significant
show examples
increases in 2008 by approximately
above
Change preposition
apply
show examples
250 and it kept growing until reached almost 350 in 2009.
Secondly
, in Nottingham, it's pretty much different from Derby. The proportion in each
year
is very fluctuative. In early 2000, Nottingham only reached above 50,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
it didn't grow and eventually dropped below 30 in 2002. Next
year
, it
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
Correct article usage
a slightly
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slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
improvement in 2003 by approximately 50 and
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
continue
Add the particle
tocontinue
show examples
grow until 2005 before it decreased extremely in 2006
nearly
Change preposition
to nearly
show examples
0. It came back stronger in 2007 by around 200 and dropped dead again
nearly
Change preposition
to nearly
show examples
zero in 2008.
Submitted by matcha on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • number of houses built
  • per year
  • cities
  • Derby
  • Nottingham
  • between
  • comparison
  • 10-year period
  • year-wise
  • analyze
  • compare
  • total
  • over
  • closing statement
  • introduction
  • overview
  • summarize
  • main points
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