In some places, old age is valued, while in other culture, youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion
The phenomenon of
generation
is concerned regarding
young society and aged Change preposition
with
people
. It is often believed that elders have a more crucial role than the youth generation
in some countries and the opposite. In my opinion, I insist that each generation
has their own values. In this
essay, I will outline my own point of view about this
problem.
No one can deny that in societies where old people
are valued, older people
are considered as
Change preposition
apply
the
mentors for young Correct article usage
apply
people
. As they have been living for a long life, they have vast experience and know many things inside out. Indeed, they can help the
society and their younger Correct article usage
apply
generation
follow the right ways. The most familiar example of this
is family’s
members who tend to be given constructive advice by their grandparents and parents when they make an important decision, as they know that their older members Change noun form
family
attain
wide knowledge and various experiences in their life. Verb problem
have
Likewise
, because of population aging
, there is an increasing incidence of chronic illnesses (Change the spelling
ageing
e.g
arthritis, Alzheimer’s). It makes no difference that senior citizens are important Correct your spelling
e.g.
due to
their meaningful value.
One thing which is equally important is young society’s worth. Teenagers are energetic and have a good brain, so they can accumulate a lot of useful knowledge about technology and the globe. As a result
, they contribute their studies to develop the countries effectively shortly. Nothing could be more apparent than the evidence that the Chinese young generation
, who are talented and brilliant, have been inventing a variety of disruptive technologies. Indeed, China is a development
nation. Replace the word
developing
On the other hand
, some teenagers are lazy and they do not make efforts to accumulate knowledge and down-to-earth experiences. It seems quite clear that youth groups contribute many inventions to the nations.
In summary, each generation
plays an essential role in social life. While
elderly people
give their children advices
to be Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
a
successful person, young adults are held accountable for assisting Correct article usage
apply
promote
national development.Wrong verb form
in promoting
Submitted by sinh.ielts on
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task achievement
Add more examples and specific details to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more linking devices to improve coherence.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range accuracy
Review your grammar to ensure accuracy.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
