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Band 4

It is suggested that all young adults should undertake a period of unpaid work helping people in the community. Does it bring more benefits or drawbacks to the people?

#adults #period #work #people #community
Voluntary
work
 is a great practice which is done for the development of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society without getting paid. Some people believe that
this
 helps youngsters
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 give
contrast
Wrong verb form
contrasting
show examples
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
. In
this
 essay, | would like to examine the advantages and the disadvantages of doing social
work
.
To begin
 with, doing free
work
 for society enables youth to grow and sharpen their soft skills,
for instance
, leadership, communication,
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
 etc. These will help them in their future career when they will tend to land a job or
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 other businesses.
Besides
, capitalizing
these
Change preposition
on these
show examples
 skills, they might get a scholarship in top national or international colleges or universities as well.
Furthermore
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
helping people without financial benefit
also
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
 social bonding and the feeling of togetherness. These things are important since in the modern era, people are getting disconnected and isolated which
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 loneliness, depression and
overall
 imbalance of
psychic
Correct article usage
the psychic
show examples
 mind. So, these shared feelings can be a remedy to outweigh the mental health issues and save the young generation from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
destructive psychological problems. In spite of having numerous positive features of
this
 kind
work
Change preposition
of work
show examples
, it
also
 has negative sides and one of them is the
time
 consumption. As
this
 type of
work
 does not bring any financial benefit,
consumes
Correct word choice
and consumes
show examples
 a lot of
time
, it seems
time wasting
Add a hyphen
time-wasting
show examples
 to some extent. In
this
fast moving
Add a hyphen
fast-moving
show examples
 and very competitive world,
this
 can be an unfruitful decision for them.
However
, voluntary
work
 is a great practice, as it helps
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society in many ways and
in addition
 to
this
, it helps the doers to develop their working capacity as well. Though it has
a
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apply
show examples
plenty of helpful characteristics, it has
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 side like
time
 consumption as well. So, to make it as a “helpful to
allâ€
Correct your spelling
all
, we should consider both ways and plan our activities
accordingly
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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