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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that young people should spend free time with families instead of outside entertainment, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #time #families #entertainment
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In modern life,
people
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 have various
activities
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 to do in their leisure
time
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. There is an
opinion
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 that it is better for the youth to spend more
time
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 with their families in their free
time
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instead
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 of spending
time
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 outside.
However
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, other
people
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 do not agree with
this
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point
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 of
view
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.
This
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 essay will
point
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 out the arguments which support both sides of
view
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 and give my personal
opinion
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.
Firstly
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, there is an undeniable fact that supports
people
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 who prefer to spend more
time
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 with their families. That fact is that family is extremely important to everyone. So, it is essential to understand our family. The more
time
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people
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 spend with their family, the more sympathetic they can be. They can know the difficulties of their family and give suitable solutions.
Moreover
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,
people
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 can
also
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 use their leisure
time
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 to help their parents do housework.
For example
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, there is an increasing number of Vietnamese young
people
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 claiming that they wish they could have more
time
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 to understand their parents
,
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apply
show examples
 and help their parents.
That is
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 because families are important to them, and they do not want to have any regrets. Turning to the group with the opposite
point
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 of
view
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, there are still some features which support their
opinion
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. There are various benefits when
people
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 spend more
time
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 participating in outdoor
activities
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. The first one is that outside entertainment can help them expand their social network.
People
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 can make new friends
while
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 participating in those
activities
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 in their free
time
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.
Furthermore
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, those
activities
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 can help them gain more soft skills, which are really essential. The reality shows that children in Europe have more experience and soft skills than children in Asia because they have more chances to participate in outdoor
activities
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 in their leisure
time
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. So, spending more
time
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 outside is
also
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 important. From my
point
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 of
view
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, I prefer to have more free
time
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 with my family
instead
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 of hanging out. Because family is the most important to me. I do not want to have any regrets in the future because I do not spend enough
time
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 with my family. In conclusion, those two groups of
opinion
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 have their undeniable supporting features. It dues to the tradition of their country.
Submitted by minhthao1205 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your ideas are well-structured and organized.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bond
  • relationship
  • communication
  • experience
  • learn
  • opportunity
  • exposure
  • culture
  • perspective
  • development
  • interest
  • skill
  • socialize
  • peer
  • broaden
  • horizon
  • opinion
What to do next:
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