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These days, museums are built in every big city and many arts in the past and the present are shown. Many people/ expert believe that museums should be the place we go to enjoy while some people think it is the place for learning. It is argued about the goal of visiting museums. We will discuss two opinions in the following paragraphs.

#museums #city #arts #people #expert #place #two #paragraphs
These days,
museums
 are built in every big city and many arts in the past and the present are shown. Many
people
/
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 believe that
museums
 should be the place we go to enjoy
while
 some
people
 think it is the place for learning. It is argued about the goal of visiting
museums
. We will discuss two opinions in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with the start of building
museums
, they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 built
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 collecting
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
 in one room and they up their size bigger until today. There are a lot of historical pictures in many eras
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 they have descriptions near the picture to read and learn. Each
art
Correct quantifier usage
piece of art
show examples
 is drawn
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 different techniques, artists should learn about them to improve their drawing skills.
However
, there is much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowledge to learn from there but some
people
 just enjoy going to
only
Rephrase
apply
show examples
watch it, it makes them feel good when they are looking at a beautiful picture. On a difficult day, we can go to a museum and we can see they make us feel better. We can go to take a picture of
people
 and
art
 to feel free.
Moreover
, there are shops for selling
art
, many
people
 want to buy them for their needs. In conclusion, many
people
 argue that the purpose
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 go exhibition,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is argued that they go for enjoy or learn. I agree with the
people
 who think
art
 parks are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place for entertainment. We go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
there and watch pictures to make us feel calm.
Submitted by pramai177 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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