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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others argue that it is not suitable. What is your opinion?

#people #positions #government
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Nowadays more and more young
people
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 hold important
positions
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 in the
government
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. Some
people
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 think that it is a good thing,
while
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 others argue that it is not suitable. What is your opinion? There has been an increase in the number of young
people
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 who hold important
positions
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 in the
government
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 in
the
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apply
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recent years. Whether it is good or unsuitable is a topic of frequent discussion.
This
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 essay discusses both
the
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apply
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views before reaching an opinion. It is opined by some that when more and more
youngsters
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 take up important roles in the
government
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, it is beneficial for the country.
This
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 is because
youngsters
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 are more energetic and dynamic in nature, and they are able to come up with modern styles of management which is the need of the hour.
Furthermore
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, the
youngsters
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 of today are up to date with
technology
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.
Hence
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, they will be able to utilize science and
technology
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 for the betterment of the nation through innovative choices.
Nonetheless
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, some others believe that entrusting
youngsters
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 with the key roles in the
government
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 is not a good thing.
This
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 is because,
youngsters
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 lack
real life
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real-life
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 experience, and because of
this
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, they are likely to make mistakes which can affect the development of the country. They might
take
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make
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 rash decisions which could be risky and dangerous for the whole nation.
Therefore
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, it is felt that senior citizens should hold important governmental
positions
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. Having discussed both
the
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apply
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views, I am of the opinion that it is always good to place
youngsters
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 in top
positions
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 in the
government
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. Though they lack experience, it will not affect the
working
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work
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 of the
government
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. When they face problems, they are able to find solutions using modern
technology
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itself
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apply
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. There are experienced
people
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 who can help them in every department, so there will not be any issues.
To sum up
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, because of the efficiency of
youngsters
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 and their knowledge of modern
technology
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, there is no harm in their holding important
positions
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 in the
government
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.
Submitted by Shrabani Banerjee on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay can be improved by organizing the ideas in a more coherent manner. Consider using clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
The conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and providing a clear opinion on the topic.
lexical resource
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovative solutions
  • Modern policies
  • Adequately represented
  • Viewpoints and issues
  • High energy levels
  • Adaptability
  • Complex political landscape
  • Impulsive decisions
  • Undue influence
  • Susceptible to pressure
  • Seasoned colleagues
  • Lobbyists
What to do next:
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