Nowadays more and more young people hold important positions in the government. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others argue that it is not suitable. What is your opinion?

Nowadays more and more young
people
hold important
positions
in the
government
. Some
people
think that it is a good thing,
while
others argue that it is not suitable. What is your opinion? There has been an increase in the number of young
people
who hold important
positions
in the
government
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years. Whether it is good or unsuitable is a topic of frequent discussion.
This
essay discusses both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views before reaching an opinion. It is opined by some that when more and more
youngsters
take up important roles in the
government
, it is beneficial for the country.
This
is because
youngsters
are more energetic and dynamic in nature, and they are able to come up with modern styles of management which is the need of the hour.
Furthermore
, the
youngsters
of today are up to date with
technology
.
Hence
, they will be able to utilize science and
technology
for the betterment of the nation through innovative choices.
Nonetheless
, some others believe that entrusting
youngsters
with the key roles in the
government
is not a good thing.
This
is because,
youngsters
lack
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
experience, and because of
this
, they are likely to make mistakes which can affect the development of the country. They might
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
rash decisions which could be risky and dangerous for the whole nation.
Therefore
, it is felt that senior citizens should hold important governmental
positions
. Having discussed both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views, I am of the opinion that it is always good to place
youngsters
in top
positions
in the
government
. Though they lack experience, it will not affect the
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
of the
government
. When they face problems, they are able to find solutions using modern
technology
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. There are experienced
people
who can help them in every department, so there will not be any issues.
To sum up
, because of the efficiency of
youngsters
and their knowledge of modern
technology
, there is no harm in their holding important
positions
in the
government
.
Submitted by Shrabani Banerjee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay can be improved by organizing the ideas in a more coherent manner. Consider using clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
The conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and providing a clear opinion on the topic.
lexical resource
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure to improve grammatical accuracy.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovative solutions
  • Modern policies
  • Adequately represented
  • Viewpoints and issues
  • High energy levels
  • Adaptability
  • Complex political landscape
  • Impulsive decisions
  • Undue influence
  • Susceptible to pressure
  • Seasoned colleagues
  • Lobbyists
What to do next:
Look at other essays: